Countless cigar girls and ladies in spinning hoops took over the Hotel San Carlos in Phoenix this weekend and put on a show that satisfied any kind of appetite for fishnet stockings, feather boas and bad lipstick.

We checked out the scene at Burlesque Live!, took a few notes and are back to you with the essentials -- the Good's above, the Bad and Ugly are after the jump, and the whole steamy slideshow is right here.

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Two signs of a bad (yet typical) burlesque show: Fuchsia lipstick and tiger-print heels.

photo by Maria Vassett

One sign of an ugly burlesque show: The only thing a pink flower headband says is "Paris Hilton Goes to Woodstock" -- not burlesque.

photo by Maria Vassett