Captain America: A Buff Steve Rogers Takes on Red Skull and Punches Hitler in the Face

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Domestic partners Niki and Esther have a lot in common, and over the course of their three year-plus relationship, they've adjusted to their differences.

Niki likes quiet nights at home; Esther likes explosions and introduced Niki to sci-fi and comic books. But while Esther loves superhero stuff, Niki can't get into it unless it has an incredibly wicked villain or Scarlet Johansson in a black leather cat suit.

They found themselves at AMC Theaters at the Arizona Center last night to see Captain America, a movie (based on the comic character) about a guy named Steve Rogers who gets injected with a super soldier serum and fights a villain named Red Skull and his HYDRA soldiers during World War II.

Niki: Let's starts with anything you didn't like, because you're the bigger fan.

Esther: What the hell did HYDRA have to do with Red Skull, or vice versa? HYDRA didn't start off with the Red Skull. Red Skull wasn't the leader of HYDRA, or didn't form it. Another thing: the bad German accents. Oh, they killed me.

Niki: Yeah, the fact that they had Germans speaking English to each other...

Esther: With bad German accents.

Niki: Germans in Germany during World War II would have been speaking German to each other. But I don't think all the German accents were bad. That dude who gave Steve Rogers the serum had a pretty accurate German accent. My main gripe was the villain. The villain's supposed to be scary and bad ass, like Whiplash in Iron Man 2, right? So why does Red Skull look like a bloody tampon in a black leather suit?

Esther: And his soldiers looked like BDSM gimps.

Niki: Yeah, they were like Tampon & The Gimps. Not scary. Red Skull looked like Skeletor on his period. Okay, what did you really like about the movie?


I had one other gripe. The motorcycle. I know he had a Harley, and I expected him to have a bike, but the


on it? What the fuck? 

Niki: The motorcycle was one of my favorite parts. I like how they had all this futuristic tech in the '40s. But it was definitely one of those moments where you had to completely suspend
your disbelief. 

Esther: I did have one final gripe, but we can get to that later. 

Niki: No, go ahead. Did I seriously like this movie more than you?

Esther: No, no, no, no...okay. (Googles Avengers #4 comic) Here's Steve Rogers, right? They see him in a block of ice. It was Namor who finds him. The Avengers all find him...and they're like, 'Oh snap, it's Captain America!" And they fanboy out. But they didn't do that [in that movie]! They did the weird "trying-to-protect-Steve-Rogers'-innocence and sense of time thing." 

Niki: Yeah, for a second there, I thought we were gonna get the whole 'It was all a dream' ending. I thought it worked. I never read the comic, so I wasn't aware it was an "alternate" ending. Any other complaints? 

Esther: No. 

Niki: Okay, what did you like? 

Esther: [Captain America] punching Hitler in the face! And his drawing of him as a monkey. Or more like, them showing him as an intelligent, compassionate human being who drew. 

Niki: I think I liked him more as the gutsy, skinny little kid, before he gets the super shit shot into him. What is that, anyway?

Esther: It's a super serum! 

Niki: I do have to say, Tommy Lee Jones brought some great comic relief to the movie. Like, when he sees skinny pre-super serum Steve Rogers, he says, "He's making me cry" or "He makes me want to cry." Didn't he say, "Give that kid a sandwich" or something, too? 

Esther: No, that was the Senator, I think. I liked Tommy Lee Jones in that also. Normally, I get worried when I see him in a superhero movie. Case in point: Batman Forever. But here, this role suited him. 

Niki: What did you think of Chris Evans as Captain America? 

Esther: Not bad. He was believable. 

Niki: He was buff. 

Esther: He could have been a bit more dorky, because that's how I've always pictured Captain America. 

Niki: I thought he was superbly dorky at the beginning of the movie, before he gets changed. Okay, and lastly, let's talk about the after-credits teaser for The Avengers you made me sit and wait for at the end of the movie. 

Esther: I like how they're building up the team differently, and hint at that in the teaser. I saw that Loki's probably gonna be the bad guy, and it makes me hope it doesn't suck. But I think it's gonna be okay. And where was the Hulk? And Ant Man and Wasp? But I think, most of all, in the end, the whole movie didn't seem like a trailer for The Avengers, and the whole love interest thing wasn't as forced as in Thor

Niki: I was disappointed it was an unrequited thing, but I could see that it needed to be. No time for love scenes. Lots of long fight scenes and explosions to get through.

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