Science has failed us. We're less than three years away from the high-tech, neon-infused existence that was promised to us in Back to the Future II -- and for all the progress society has made since 1989, I'm disappointed.
Sure, Nike has developed self-lacing sneakers, and Google is working on a prototype for TV-enabled glasses -- like the ones worn by Marty McFly's teenage daughter -- but it would seem that all of the egg-heads are too wrapped up at CERN to focus their energies on the definitive post-millennium technology.
What we need is the hoverboard.
Kids in the 80s were promised that hoverboards were a reality. In an interview to promote Back to the Future II, director Robert Zemeckis deadpanned that the technology existed, but "some parents groups won't allow them to be released" creating both global demand and acrimonious parent/child relationships worldwide. Zemeckis later admitted that the whole story was a piece of Hollywood showmanship. You know, a joke...to be funny.
Seeing an opportunity to appease
dorks with disposable incomes enthusiasts of the Back to the Future films, toy manufacturer Mattel recently announced it was taking pre-orders for a fully authorized, prop replica hoverboard.
For $120, collectors will receive a screen-accurate deck with "authentic 'whooshing' sounds sampled directly from the films." To maintain canon, the packaging even includes a disclaimer that this particular model will not work on water. (Everyone knows that you need to link boards with a gang of hoodlums to pull off that feat)
Pre-orders for the Hoverboard are open through March, with product shipping in November 2012.
And if that bit of information wasn't enough to get your geek senses tingling, know that elsewhere on the Web, artist Nils Guadagnin built his own functioning hoverboard as part of a sculpture exhibition. According to his blog, Guadagnin's board does levitate with an integrated electromagnetic and a laser system which stabilizes it in the air.
Check out the video below:
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Ahem. I apologize for the nerdgasm, but come on! Mattel and Guadagnin are like the keymaster and gatekeeper of awesomeness. Someone needs to get these two together and create the most badass Kickstarter project of all time. My wallet's already open.