1/3 - 1/28

Our couch-potato habits are so ingrained that it takes a drill sergeant to get us into shape. Too bad we recoil at the thought of a military haircut. Ladies, on the other hand, can sign up for the Phoenix Adventure Women's Boot Camp and still keep their favorite hair stylist. All ages and fitness levels are welcome for the "Jump Start Your New Year" program that runs Monday, January 3, through January 28, at Dreamy Draw (2421 East Northern) and Pecos (48th Street and Pecos Parkway in Ahwatukee) parks. Earn your dog tags by joining U.S. Navy veteran and personal trainer Tammy Kaatz at 5:30 a.m. for a one-hour, five-days-a-week, four-week-long program. Guys, no matter how appealing a fitness class is at that hour, remember it's for ladies only. Designed to lose you inches and help you gain strength, the class includes cardio, running, weights, jump rope, games and hikes. Course fees are $299. See www.phxbootcamp.com or call 602-274-1170. -- Douglas Towne

Utah Order

Are you ready for some Ute-ball?

SAT 1/1

If the winds are just right, you might just hear Mormon leaders in Salt Lake City licking their lips in anticipation of the lucrative payday the favored Utah Utes stand to bring home from the Fiesta Bowl on Saturday, January 1, at Sun Devil Stadium. With an expected payout of $14 million, and a 10 percent tithing for the LDS church, that's a lot of new bicycle helmets. But before they roll in the dough, the undefeated Utes will have to overcome a formidable foe in the 8-3 Pittsburgh Panthers. The game's sold out, so unless you've got enough green for tickets from scalpers, or off eBay, the best bet is to head to College Football's Biggest Party ("Pre-Game Huddle") at the ASU Festival Grounds at Packard Drive and Rio Salado Parkway starting at 3 p.m. and join 30,000 other football fanatics who'll partake in food and fun. Admission is $20. See www.tostitosfiestabowl.com. --Benjamin Leatherman

Resolutions Run Amok

5K gets island theme

SUN 1/2

Your visions of starting 2005 jogging along Waikiki Beach are fading because your holiday bonus just wasn't what it was cracked up to be. Don't put away your lei just yet, as you can still get in a morning run replete with a Hawaiian punch at the Resolution Run 5K Run/Walk, Sunday, January 2, at Papago Park, 625 North Galvin Parkway. Palm trees and -- hopefully -- balmy weather will greet runners for the 9 a.m. start, and the sounds of a ukulele might even make you temporarily forget the lack of surf. The late entry fee is $20 and includes a tee shirt and refreshments courtesy of Sweet Tomatoes. Let's hope they remember to bring plenty of pineapple. See www.runningmasters.net or call 480-345-5752. -- Douglas Towne

Alive in '05

Midnight Madness ensues!

FRI 12/31

Get a head start on making and subsequently breaking those New Year's resolutions at the Midnight Madness three-mile run/walk at the Rose Mofford Sports Complex, 9833 North 25th Avenue, on Friday, December 31. This year's theme is "Stayin' Alive in 2005" -- catchy, right? And because participants are encouraged to wear costumes to this serious athletic event, the theme is a perfect excuse to sport those shorty shorts and leisure suits that seem to still be taking up space in our closets. (We strongly suggest ditching the platform shoes for fear of injury.) If you can beat Father Time across the finish line, you'll get a prize and some chili. Okay, everyone gets the chili. Registration, $20 to $25, starts at 9 p.m., and the race begins at 10:30 p.m. For more information or to pre-register, visit www.runningmasters.net. -- C. Murphy Hebert

Not Going Gently

Cards end season up against Tampa Bay

SUN 1/2

The Seattle Seahawks may have pooped all over the Arizona Cardinals' chances of making the playoffs, but that doesn't mean there's nothing to celebrate. After all, how many teams can say they almost made it into the playoffs with a losing record? Okay, okay, we know that's not much consolation. The only thing that might make the boys in red and white a little less blue would be to stomp the crap out of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers in the last game of the season on Sunday, January 2, at Sun Devil Stadium in Tempe. The new year could bring some renewed vigor to the Cards, who are 7-7 against Tampa Bay, historically. Arizona acquired kick returner Karl Williams from the Bucs in the off-season, and his presence could help the Cardinals end the season with a victory. The game kicks off at 2:05 p.m., and tickets cost $30 to $235. Call 480-784-4444. -- Niki D'Andrea

KEEP PHOENIX NEW TIMES FREE... Since we started Phoenix New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Phoenix, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Niki D'Andrea has covered subjects including drug culture, women's basketball, pirate radio stations, Scottsdale staycations, and fine wine. She has worked at both New Times and Phoenix Magazine, and is now a freelancer.
Contact: Niki D'Andrea
C. Murphy Hebert
Benjamin Leatherman is a staff writer at Phoenix New Times. He covers local nightlife, music, culture, geekery, and fringe pursuits.
Douglas Towne