Fat Tuesday

Travel overseas and ask any foreign bloke what stereotypes strike them the most regarding the ugly American. You may be surprised by the answer.

We know from experience that the retort doesn't concern vomit-colored strip malls or our nasally accents punctuated with a barrage of "likes" and "uhs." Nor is it the easy-American-Valley-girl distinction or the gun-toting-freak label. It's the blubber, y'all. You know, the fat-packing dude or dudette with Crisco seeping out of every disgusting pore, face unashamedly deep in MSG-processed crap and a canned domestic beer by their side. It's the human Big Gulps and Frito-Lays who you work with, sit beside on the flight to LAX, and (gross!) share the toilet seat with at any public bathroom.

Monkey Pants Bar & Grill celebrates this gargantuan slice of Americana during its Two Sizes Too Small Tuesdays promotion. Each week, take your greedy gut to the watering hole while wearing "Monkey Pants-approved pants" that are too freaking tight and receive happy-hour prices on grub and suds all night, including the dozen-wings special for $3.95. If you really need the artery cloggers in a basket, Flabio, try ordering a side salad, too.

Tuesdays, 2007
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Steve Jansen
Contact: Steve Jansen