Five Fugly Men's Summer Fashions

>Given: Phoenix is known for its low-key, laid back style. We wear jeans to the opera, shorts to the theater -- hell, we just saw a lady in a slinky romper at the Phoenix Art Museum. (We'll have more on rompers in tomorrow's female-specific list.)

Also Given: In the summer, it's near impossible to look attractive after you break a sweat while waiting for the A/C in the car to kick in.

But let's get it together. Some fashion trends have tried (and failed) to adapt to the heat and some are just plain stupid. Let's take a look at what's fugly about this season's line:

1. Tanks:
This fashion phenomena seems to have crossed the great divide of bros and hipsters. This shirt style -- with its plunging armpit holes and inevitable graphic print -- is embraced by muscly men who wave hand signs with a casual exclamation, "suns out guns out!"

But the retro, striped version is also loved by the two-wheeled Peugeot riders, who after rolling up a pant leg (which we'll get to later), scoff at your music taste and brush their bangs out of their eyes. Please, for both species, find something with sleeves.

2. Pant/Short Rolling:
Are you digging for clams? Are you a girl whose gym shorts are too big? If you need shorter pants, wear shorts. If you need shorter shorts ... you may have other issues.

3. Fedoras:

Anything brought back into culture by a man that once dated Britney Spears should be forgotten, if not banned (Can we talk about the landing-strip goatee?).  

4. Boat Shoes:
Are you on a boat? Enough said.

5. Going Sock-less:
It's popular with said boat shoes. And it's horrifying. Closed toed shoes need socks, even if they're ultra low-rise. It's way too hot to burden others with the smell of your dank feet.

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Claire Lawton
Contact: Claire Lawton