For All He-Mankind

Some years back, we were figuratively pistol-whipped by a hyper-radical/feminist/queer/artist chick. She’d just lectured at a local college. When we were introduced, she saw only stereotype -- white, male, not gay – and determined on the spot that our troglodytic dick was the clearer thinking of our two heads. Her name escapes us, which is too bad, ’cause we recently discovered a neat little stuffer we’d like to stick in her, er, stocking for Christmas: Maddox’s The Alphabet of Manliness (revised).

The handiwork of the notorious Salt Lake City-based Internet personality George Ouzounian (who uses the pen name Maddox), the original 2006 incarnation of the book made him a household name of sorts when it hit No. 2 on the New York Times Best Seller List. Brimming with hi-larious new-millennial he-man art, the book is divided into 26 easily digestible chapters detailing the male experience from A to Z.

A is for “Ass-Kicking.” B is for “Boner.” C is for “Copping a Feel.” Other amusing chapters include F (“Female Wrestling”), N (“Chuck Norris”), and R (“Road Rage”).

The revised edition includes addenda titled “The Numbers of Manliness” and one we’d dearly love our art-chick pal to read while lashed to a boulder and with toothpicks propping up her eyelids: “The Alphabet of Womanliness (as told by a man).”

You can file that under T for “Troglodyte’s Revenge.”

Fri., Aug. 28, 7 p.m., 2009
KEEP PHOENIX NEW TIMES FREE... Since we started Phoenix New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Phoenix, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Clay McNear
Contact: Clay McNear