Usually, humping things is the domain of dogs and the drunkest person at the party, but it's the recipe for glory at theAir Sex World Championships
, which makes a stop at Madcap Theaters in Tempe this Saturday.
Whether it's a costume, or set of gestures and facial expressions, make your persona stand out. Having a story is good, too. "The best air sex show is almost like a narrative. You'll see them meet the [imaginary] person, court them, have sex with them, and maybe even leave them," Chris Trew says. For example, Trew once pretended to be a Holiday Inn janitor named Grady, who let himself into a newlywed suite and incited a threesome -- all to the tune of Jessica Simpson's "With You" (see step one).
3. Have commitment.
Not to your imaginary air sex partner, but to the imaginary sex itself. "If you're having sex with a spare tire, I want to see you grabbing the tread and pounding away," Trew says. "People have used all kinds of props, from drill saws to shake weights to two dummy legs. Even if it's just air, make it believable."
There aren't many rules, but Trew has one more bit of advice for potential air sex competitors: don't get naked (just pretend to take off your clothes), and don't have a real orgasm. "All climaxes must be simulated, not real," Trew says."But you could have a secret orgasm in your pants."
The Air Sex World Championships are scheduled for 11 p.m. Saturday, October 23, at Madcap Theaters, 730 S. Mill Avenue in Tempe. Tickets cost $10. Call 480-634-5192 or visit www.madcaptheaters.com for more information. Visit the Air Sex World Championships YouTube page for some videos.
Keep Phoenix New Times Free... Since we started Phoenix New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Phoenix, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Phoenix with no paywalls.