In Defense of Making Out: An Ode to Sucking Face in Public

Although it seems to happen less and less with each passing year, random makeout sessions have always been an inevitable part of my dating life.

After some long talks with friends, I’ve come to realize that regardless of sexual preference, amount of experience, age, or other factors, spontaneous face-sucking occurs with just about everyone at one point or another. There’s not necessarily a rhyme or reason to it, sometimes people just decide they want to have another person’s tongue in their mouths.

When it comes to furthering the human race (the backbone of most sexual desires), there’s no benefit to kissing (aside from maybe building immunity to germs, according to a British study). Although it’s tough to procreate without kissing these days, nothing in our genetic coding says that we have to do it, and cave people probably had plenty of kids without ever locking lips much at all.

But scientifically speaking, it’s been touted time and time again (by CNN, WebMD, and many other places) that kissing seems to do plenty of good for our bodies, both mentally and physically. It reduces stress, blood pressure, illness, and all that other stuff that can kill you.

The only other thing with a bad reputation that has as many medical benefits as playing tonsil hockey is smoking weed. While opinions (and laws) are shifting in favor of marijuana, making out (particularly in public) is still generally frowned upon.

Now, I’m not saying we should all be forced to watch our friends and family members suck face with their significant others every day, but I do think we should stop judging folks for Frenching in bars, on dates, and in other mildly appropriate settings.

Where should people be allowed to passionately lock lips without drawing looks? Perhaps where other “vices” are permitted would be a good starting point. If you’re allowed to poison yourself with booze or cigarettes in a location, who’s to say it’s wrong to orally embrace at that same spot? Making out at a daycare is a little unnecessary, but there’s nothing wrong with a little drunken tongue-sparring at 1 a.m. on a Saturday night’s dance floor.

There are far worse things you could see when stumbling out of a bar in Tempe or Scottsdale or anywhere after last call. Fights, vomiting (sometimes prior to or in the midst of grinding gums with a stranger), public urination, destruction of property — they all happen on a near-weekly basis in bar-laden areas of the world. So how about we all save the holier-than-thou looks for the folks who are actually doing something harmful?

If you’re really upset about two people passionately kissing, you probably have bigger problems going on. For the rest of the world, it’s more jealousy than anger. As Chris Carrabba would admit, you really just wish you were anywhere, with anyone, making out.
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Josh Chesler
Contact: Josh Chesler