| Fashion |

Introducing the Boobypack: "A Top Shelf Fannypack"

Keep New Times Free
I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of Phoenix and help keep the future of New Times free.

All too often, women ravers have been burdened with the task of monitoring their valuables. Amidst the fluorescent bikini top, matching little girls' tutu, and butterfly wings, the places for storing your personal items are few and far between.

Fortunately New York based partygoer, Christina Conrad, has created a solution -- and she's launched a Kickstarter to make it happen.

See Also: Five Rave-Worthy Fashion Trends We're Tired of Seeing Meggings: When Men, Leggings, and a Whole Lot of TMI Collide

The Boobypack is a neon sport bra that stores all the little essentials of electric dance enthusiasts. There's a side pocket under each arm pit to store keys, ID, small traces of narcotics, and of course, your cell phone. Because there's really no safer place for your radiation-emitting cell phone then nestled securely against your breasts and lymph nodes.

So what does Christina Conrad need to produce the Boobypack, a revolutionary pocket bra that will give you the freedom to jump, thrash, mosh, and shimmy to your heart's content?

Well, for a measly $15K, Conrad will produce 1,000 Boobypacks and a barebones website. Bump it up to $30K and she'll deliver 2,000 Boobypacks plus a gallery for lady ravers to upload photos of themselves wearing this cargo pant equivalent of lingerie.

Take it all the way to $60K and not only will she be able to manufacture 4,000 Boobypacks but she'll also begin development on a new line of rack packs that actually charge your electronics while you wear them.

And again, while we hate to throw out the 'C' word, we just have to ask: Isn't this just asking for cancer?

Don't worry, Conrad addresses that little issue: according to National Cancer Advisory, "Although there have been some concerns that radiofrequency energy from cell phones held closely to the head may affect the brain and other tissues, to date there is no evidence from studies of cells, animals, or humans that radiofrequency energy can cause cancer." 

See. They can't prove it. Yet.

Follow Jackalope Ranch on Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest.

Keep Phoenix New Times Free... Since we started Phoenix New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Phoenix, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Phoenix with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.


Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Phoenix.


Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Phoenix.