Ah, the small distances that separate modern relationships.

It used to be as simple as getting someone in your car and driving to a dead end to suck face, but soon, couples who meet through online dating sites, gaming chat rooms, and fixed-gear bike forums can happily kiss machine face with the use of a small joystick that simulates a close-second-base.

The slam dunk for online dating is thanks to researchers at Kajimoto Laboratory in Tokyo, who write that online and long-distance couples everywhere are just "one step closer to a full-on person-to-person experience over the Internet."

Yum.

(Check out the real action in a demo video after the jump ...  )

It means people like you, SuperCuteGurl488, just have to put the slobbery, totally unsanitary piece of plastic tubing inside your mouth, creepily look at your partner through some sort of video chat software, move your tongue around, and voila! You can "kiss" each other without the risks real couples face, like herpes and syphilis.

Added bonus: you can "save" the simulated movements of your own or your partners kiss and replay for when he/she isn't around.

Representatives of Kajimoto Laboratory say the software and what looks like a modified breathalyzer is not yet available to the public, but we're sure it'll be available in online Second Life and WOW shopping carts worldwide.