Lust Stinks

It’s Valentine’s Day, and no amount of porn will save you from this feeling of emptiness. Worldwide, people are going at it like beavers at a dam, and all you can do is pick lamely at your chastity belt. Mission Semen Receptacle has just been classified impossible. But instead of spooning with your man-pillow tonight, seek solace at the Valentine’s Day Massicree, where cynics, lovers, and jesters will impart their knowledge of love in the form of music, poetry, and skits.
Thu., Feb. 14, 8 p.m., 2008
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Nina Carapetyan