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Manifesto No. 5

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Support the independent voice of Phoenix and help keep the future of New Times free.

Continuing Manifestos, a collection of 10(ish) life lessons and rules written by local creatives and illustrated by local designers.

Up today, lessons learned by local writer Kim Porter, illustrated below by Peter Storch:

Read Porter's manifesto below ...

1. Nobody wants your stupid advice. Even if you are right, which you probably are, keep it to yourself and get back to work.

2. If you leave your used band-aid near the edge of the tub, you are dead to me.

3. Jalapenos make everything 60% better.

4. Forgive yourself and get back to work. Wallowing in shame is never as productive as it sounds.

5. Buy and sample all the home-made street-vendor food you encounter. If someone went to the trouble to cook something and carry it around in a 5 gallon bucket, it's probably pretty good. (Only don't bother with those cookies that lady carries door to door in my neighborhood, they never get any better no matter how many times you buy them. Also, she's mean.)

6. Perfection is impossible. Aiming for it is a fool's errand. Just do your best and get back to work.

7. I don't care what a so called optimist will tell you, dwelling on death does makes you value life more.

8. Get a needy pet or a difficult room-mate, because if you don't learn how to compromise and overlook others' shortcomings you will never learn how to overlook your own.

9. Frito Chili Pie. You are welcome.

10. Extract the lesson from the catastrophe, say "thank you, catastrophe, you've saved me years of trial and error," and then get back to work.

--Kim Porter

About the creative: Kim Porter is a playwright and actor who has produced award-winning plays that have showcased nationwide. Porter was born in Texas and lived in San Francisco before moving to Phoenix six years ago. The Phoenix stages haven't been the same since. When Porter's in town, she's busy teaching. Her workshop, Writing for the Stage, is for playwrights and solo performers at all levels and is held at Space 55.

About the designer: Peter Storch is the Art Director at Phoenix New Times. He graduated from the University of Arizona with a B.F.A. in both design and illustration, and was a graphic designer in New York City before returning to Arizona.

More Manifestos: Manifesto No. 1 Manifesto No. 2 Manifesto No. 3 Manifesto No. 4

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Keep Phoenix New Times Free... Since we started Phoenix New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Phoenix, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Phoenix with no paywalls.

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Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Phoenix.


Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Phoenix.