Mitt Romney 2012: An Illustrated Wishlist of Political Kitsch

There are so many things to look forward to during Election Season -- voter registration, explosive political arguments with loved ones, and of course, novelty items.

No election campaign is complete without bobble heads, bumper stickers, accessories, and attire. But we have to appreciate those enterprising individuals who check outside the box, taking the political theme way too far.

In the spirit of crap we wish existed, we present the first half of our political kitsch wishlist (Obama Edition coming soon). Here are five political absurdities (Jan Brewer's recent Obama endorsement not included) that you can start buying or start making right now.

5. RomneyKub

It's really just the same old Rummikub, except for the fact that Mitt Romney's face replaces the joker and you can win the game by only using up 13 percent of your tiles.

4. Oven Mitt Romney

This one is actually already for sale. Purchase your very own set of oven Mitts to protect your hard working American hands.

3. Knit Romney

Knit Romney will decide what's best for your knitted uterus.

2. Grits Romney

Put on your best impression of Mitt Romney's horrible fake southern accent while you enjoy yourself some sweet, buttery and grits. Eat up y'all.

1. Mitt Pastromney

The Mitt Pastromney - more red meat than Obamalogna?

Follow Jackalope Ranch on Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest.

KEEP PHOENIX NEW TIMES FREE... Since we started Phoenix New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Phoenix, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Katie Johnson
Contact: Katie Johnson