Mitt Romney 2012: An Illustrated Wishlist of Political Kitsch

There are so many things to look forward to during Election Season -- voter registration, explosive political arguments with loved ones, and of course, novelty items. No election campaign is complete without bobble heads, bumper stickers, accessories, and attire. But we have to appreciate those enterprising individuals who check outside...

By Katie Johnson

August 31, 2012

[
        {
          "name": "Air - MediumRectangle - Inline Content - Mobile Display Size",
          "component": "18478561",
          "insertPoint": "2",
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "2"
        },{
          "name": "Editor Picks",
          "component": "16759093",
          "insertPoint": "4",
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "1"
        },{
          "name": "Inline Links",
          "component": "17980324",
          "insertPoint": "8th",
          "startingPoint": 8,
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "7",
          "maxInsertions": 25
        },{
          "name": "Air - MediumRectangle - Combo - Inline Content",
          "component": "16759092",
          "insertPoint": "8th",
          "startingPoint": 8,
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "7",
          "maxInsertions": 25
        },{
          "name": "Inline Links",
          "component": "17980324",
          "insertPoint": "8th",
          "startingPoint": 12,
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "11",
          "maxInsertions": 24
        },{
          "name": "Air - Leaderboard Tower - Combo - Inline Content",
          "component": "16759094",
          "insertPoint": "8th",
          "startingPoint": 12,
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "11",
          "maxInsertions": 24
        }
      ]

There are so many things to look forward to during Election Season -- voter registration, explosive political arguments with loved ones, and of course, novelty items.

No election campaign is complete without bobble heads, bumper stickers, accessories, and attire. But we have to appreciate those enterprising individuals who check outside the box, taking the political theme way too far.

In the spirit of crap we wish existed, we present the first half of our political kitsch wishlist (Obama Edition coming soon). Here are five political absurdities (Jan Brewer's recent Obama endorsement not included) that you can start buying or start making right now.

5. RomneyKub

It's really just the same old Rummikub, except for the fact that Mitt Romney's face replaces the joker and you can win the game by only using up 13 percent of your tiles.

4. Oven Mitt Romney

This one is actually already for sale. Purchase your very own set of oven Mitts to protect your hard working American hands.

3. Knit Romney

Knit Romney will decide what's best for your knitted uterus.

2. Grits Romney

Put on your best impression of Mitt Romney's horrible fake southern accent while you enjoy yourself some sweet, buttery and grits. Eat up y'all.

1. Mitt Pastromney

The Mitt Pastromney - more red meat than Obamalogna?

Follow Jackalope Ranch on Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest.

KEEP NEW TIMES FREE... Since we started New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Phoenix, and we'd like to keep it that way. Your membership allows us to continue offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food, and culture with no paywalls. You can support us by joining as a member for as little as $1.