Face facts, game junkies, everyone's gotten tired of your bragging. Whether it's disgruntled friends -- weary from getting "pwned" at Unreal Tournament -- or your ex, who left after your declaration that a high kill ratio in Battlefield: 1942 translated into bedroom prowess, it's "game over" for your personal life. Frankly, the only way to win 'em back is by laying waste to gamers nationwide (not to mention raking in some mad cash) by joining the National E-Sports League, which begins its latest season at 7 p.m. Wednesday, May 25. Gather up your remaining buds and head to CyberHawk WWWeb, 4030 East Bell, the NEL's local "arena," where five- to eight-player teams compete against others at more than 40 LAN centers across North America every Wednesday night during an eight-week season (followed by playoffs). Participants play games of Counter-Strike 1.6 (pictured) and Call of Duty, with $100,000 being distributed amongst teams based on win-loss records. Registration, $45 per player, is due by Friday, May 20. CyberHawk will also hold a separate LAN tournament at 1 p.m. Sunday, May 22, for prizes. Registration is $5. Call 602-867-4880 or see www.cyberhawkwwweb.com. -- Benjamin Leatherman
Get wet, get spent at "Splash & Dash"
While "Splash & Dash" might describe your hasty exit from a local nightspot last weekend after knocking over a table full of drinks, it's also the combination swim-and-run series held at Tempe Town Lake. Contrary to what you learned in fifth-grade science class, participants are called "aqua-athletes," not "amphibians," and aren't at all slimy. The sixth leg in the "Splash & Dash" series consists of a 750-meter swim capped by a five-kilometer run. The race starts at 5:30 p.m. Thursday, May 19, on the lake's south bank at 80 West Rio Salado Parkway. Feel free to dive in at the last minute since day-of-the-race registration is available for $29. Call 480-226-4729 or see www.redrockco.com/splashinfo.htm. -- Douglas Towne