The average Thanksgiving dinner typically lasts around 90 minutes or so (give or take a few hours for the usual family psychodrama), which leaves you more than 90 hours worth of time to fill over the holiday weekend.
How are you gonna spend it? Watching maudlin movies, football, or holiday specials? Eff that. Instead, why not waste away the four-day weekend witnessing girls grappling around in a pool of gravy, taking your bike for a spin, and dancing until dawn at any of the following Thanksgiving parties and events.
Thanksgiving Throwdown @ Tempe Beach Park:
Considering how much vittles you'll be stuffing down the pie hole over the next few days, it might be wise to exercise first in order to counteract the caloric overload. The folks at State Bicycle Co. are putting on this event on Wednesday evening, which will include a "messenger style alleycat ride," prizes for the winners, and giveaways. The fee is $7 (with a $2 discount for those who bring a canned food item) and registration is at 7:30 p.m. Click here for more details.
2. Thanksgiving Eve Party @ Magnum's:
Stogies and sharoots will be in abundance at this chic smoking lounge's event on Wednesday. Cigar-rolling demonstrations will be held, hors d'oeuvres will be served, and beer tastings will be available. Local musicians will also perform. Admission is free and the event starts at 6 p.m. Call 602-493-8977.
3. Gravy Wrestling Thanksgiving Eve Bash @ Hurricane Bay:
Take an inflatable kiddie pool and fill it with mashed potatoes, gravy, and various pairs of scantilly-clad women. What's he result? An evening of messy mayhem, which is the best way to describe this annual Thanksgiving tradition that takes place on the Wednesday before turkey at at this Bell Road nightclub. Cash prizes of $750 will be awarded to the winning ladies and specials will also be served, including 25-cent drinks until 11 p.m. and $1 Dos Equis. Doors open at 7 p.m.
4. Dancegiving @ Wild Knight:
Be sure to dress to impress if you hope to get into this swank soiree on Wednesday night at the exclusive Saddlebag Trail establishment. As its name portends, the party is all about shaking a tailfeather to dance jams laid down by the duo of Thomas Turner and Timothy Heit, as well as special guests. Special cocktails will be available at either of Wild Knights two bars. Admission is $12 and doors open at 9 p.m. Click here for tickets.
ElectroBall 2011 @ Axis-Radius:
An evening of colorful fun is planned at this rave-like 18-and-over dance party on Wednesday night, which will offer laser lights piercing the air, a variety of glowsticks, and plenty of body paint. Drink specials include $5 Electric Sunrises. Giveaways of Clocker Watches and Spirit Hoods will also take place. The DJ lineup includes appearance by Sean Watson and Henry Dilema. Admission is $10 and doors open at 9 p.m. Click here for tickets.
6. Raven's Thanksgiving Party @ Fairmont Princess:
The Stone Rose Lounge will host this indoor/outdoor affair on Wednesday night, which will treat attendees to half-off appetizers, fall-themed cocktails, and live music from local bands. Drink specials will also be offered. Admission is free and the party starts at 6 p.m. More details can be found here.
7. Illuminati VI @ Afterlife:
Aron Mezo's after-hours establishment will offer an all-night dance party on Wednesday that will boast more than a dozen DJs who will be spinning until 4 a.m. on Thanksgiving morning. More importantly, the party will also offer giveaways aplenty of such schwag as light-up watches and skateboards, allowing attendees to get a jump on their Christmas shopping. Admission is $10 for those wearing any sort of glowing or illuminated gear, $15 for everyone else. Doors open at 10 p.m. Check out this page for more details.
8. All-Star Thursdays Thanksgiving Party @ PHX Nightclub:
More than 800 partygoers are expected to pack PHX Nightclub for a Thanksgiving night shindig hosted by pro football players Bobby Wade, Levi Jones, and Andrae Thurman. An open bar will be available until 12 a.m., $3 drink specials are on tap afterwards. Doors open at 9 p.m. Click here for more info.
9. Holiday Havoc @ 910 Live:
Musclebound pugilists, professional wrestlers, and costumed lucha libre performers will engage in all manner of hand-to-hand combat during this event on Saturday night. Various boxing, mixed martial arts, and rasslin' matches will take place in the squared circle featuring local athletes. Admission is $10-$20. Bell time is at 5 p.m. Click here for more info.
Keep Phoenix New Times Free... Since we started Phoenix New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Phoenix, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Phoenix with no paywalls.