Because there’s nothing going on in the South, save for fixing to get freakishly into the pigskin, it’s basically impossible to score a ticket to college football’s national championship whenever a Southeastern Conference team is involved (which has been the case the past five seasons).

When the Tostitos BCS National Championship game goes off between the Auburn Tigers and the Oregon Ducks, you’ll be wise to post up at a bar for free – such as Padre Murphy’s, 4338 West Bell Road in Glendale, or CK’s Tavern & Grill, 4142 East Chandler Boulevard – to watch the coronation of 2010-11’s elite squad instead of fighting the good ol’ boy madness at University of Phoenix Stadium.