Nerd Culture

Star Wars Episode VII Finally Has a Title -- And It's Kinda Lame

Star Wars fans, get ready to geek the eff out. Episode VII has a title: The Force Awakens. Conversely, Star Wars haters can now start dishing out the snarky puns, online or otherwise.

Within the last hour or so, the Mouseketeers at Disney and Lucasfilm that are in charge of the Star Wars franchise officially announced the title of the first flick in the sequel trilogy, which is scheduled to be released on December 18, 2015.

See also: Five Ideas for Star Wars Spin-Offs Disney Should Consider Making (and Four They Really Shouldn't)

Walt Disney Pictures' official Twitter account got the honor of dropping the news this morning on social media via a tweet that also declared that principal photography of the much-anticipated sequel has finished.

And there's been a tremor in the force in the hours since the announcement was made as fanboys and fangirls squeed for a moment before uttering a collective "meh" since the subtitle, in our honest opinion, is a bit, well, bland - especially after waiting close to a decade for a new Star Wars film.

Admittedly, it's not as bad as say, The Phantom Menace -- which got a lot of geek scratching their heads when it was announced in 1998 before the wholly negative reaction to the film itself -- but The Force Awakens sounds like either the title of an awful novel from the Expanded Universe Star Wars Legends canon (at best) or some fan film (at worst).

(Then there's the fact that the film also officially drops the "Episode VII" from the title, which we could go either way on, considering that you generally remember the subtitle and not what number it happens to be.)

The Force Awakensis nowhere near as cool as The Ancient Fear, the subtitle that Ain't It Cool News claimed was going to be the official one back in May.

Reaction to the subtitle has been decidedly lukewarm (pun very much intended) thus far. Naturally, fans created their own trailers within minutes of the announcement.

Gizmodo, on the other hand, already compiled a list of some amusing alternatives from around the Internet (our favorite: Star Wars: Sorry about the Prequels and Star Wars: The Force and Your Mother Are Going Through a Rough Patch Right Now.

Personally, we'd suggest Star Wars: The Force Hits the Snooze Alarm or even Star Wars: The Dude Abides.

A sorta-lame subtitle is one of many aspects about the film that have us a bit worried about ultimately how good it will be. Setting aside the whole chrome troopers things (and the question of the current level of acting skill that the cast members of the original trilogy still possess), we're not too high on director JJ Abrams after the fan-wank debacle that was Star Trek Into Darkness (a.k.a. Star Trek Ret-Kahn). Yeah, it's cool that the Millennium Falcon and upgraded X-Wings will be in it, and the new trilogy is likely to be better than the prequels, but we're willing to bet the whole Sabacc pot that it won't come close to exceeding the original three films. Plus, Abrams is probably gonna go out with all those lens flares. Count on it.

To paraphrase many a Star Wars character from the saga, we've got a bad feeling about this.

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Benjamin Leatherman is a staff writer at Phoenix New Times. He covers local nightlife, music, culture, geekery, and fringe pursuits.