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Stories from Bartenders

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If you're ever an obnoxious douche bag to a local bartender, beware: Your story could become fodder for a new, Valley-based blog called storiesfrombartenders.com.

Several local barflies have already made cameos: the woman who walked up to a bartender and asked if it was spa day because she "could really go for a facial," the rude dude who kept yelling "Broooooo!" at a bartender and then asked if they were hiring, the person who walked in on a busy night with 16 friends and didn't know what they want to drink after waiting ten minutes.

But storiesfrombartenders.com is more than just a bitch fest about drunken patrons. There are also some really handy drink recipes, like this one for a "Fireball Mind Eraser":

¾ oz Goldshläger 

¾ oz Jameson (pour in a glass with ice and top with Coke or Pepsi)

The bartender who submitted the recipe writes that it's "guaranteed not to disappoint."

There's also a handful of interesting photos on the site, like the one of a plastic duck covered in plastic six-pack rings (used to "signify that a Goose Island keg is dead"), and the one of a condom taped to somebody's bill with a note that reads, "Call me later, thanks for the 'tip.'"

And if you want to avoid becoming one of the asshole anecdotes in a bartender's story, this site also offers a handy list of "Top Things NEVER to Do in a Bar." Number one is snapping/whistling at the bartender; you might also want to avoid throwing things, telling the bartender to make your drink "a good one," and losing your mind when the song "Shots" by LMFAO with Lil' Jon comes on. Apparently, this song causes people to gather around the bar, pumping their fists and screaming "Shots shots shots shots shots!" at the bartender.

Yeah, that would be annoying.

Storiesfrombartenders.com founder John Creasey is a longtime 'tender who currently works at The Lodge in Scottsdale. He started the site, he writes, because "bartenders are the storytellers of our generation...they witness all manner of gyrating, drunken revelry day in and day out while (mostly) sober. This unique position gives them more insight into the boiled down truths of the human condition than most realize."

But it's not just insights that can be gleaned from storiesfrombartenders.com, but a certain infamy, if that's what you're going for. As the tag line for the site says: "You may not be allowed back, but your story will live on forever."

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Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Phoenix.


Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Phoenix.