Strip Smart

Sun 10/17
While men fantasize about the seductive third-date strip tease, women dread the nuances that come with the nerve-racking experience. What music do I play? Where does one find an industry-standard strip pole? Can granny panties ever look sexy? Who will hold my boobs up while I dance? How long does it have to last?

Think no more, ladies (and ambitious men). The Paragon Dance Center in Tempe is here to help the erotically challenged with its Art of Exotic Dancing (AOED) class, on Sunday, October 17, from 12:30 to 3:30 p.m. at Paragon Dance Center, 931 East Elliot.

This sexed-up dance class caters to women of all ages, from the brave, young bachelorette to the menopausal M.I.L.F. Held in studios across the country and in the United Kingdom, AOED does not promote the tawdry, thong-tearing antics of a dollar-a-dance nudie club. Rather, AOED promises in one three-hour session to teach its wannabe seductresses to master confident walking, eye contact, four types of hip rolls, floor work, visualization and, of course, the climactic striptease.

Leave your lingerie -- and your pride -- at home. The class requires only comfortable clothing -- with the exception of an oversize shirt and a pair of high heels -- and $79.

To register, call 1-866-HIP-ROLL. -- Ashlea Deahl

Idol Threat

We wanna take you to a gay bah

Sun 10/17
It's just like the boys in Electric Six said: "You're a superstar, at the gay bar" . . . especially during "Mary's Idol," an ab-fab karaoke contest at Hamburger Mary's, 5111 North Seventh Street. Don't stress if you didn't "sing for bling" during the first weekend, since an additional round of preliminary competition goes down on Sunday, October 17. A rotating panel of guest judges, including drag queen Savannah Fields, will critique participants, but ultimately the bar's patrons will determine who moves on over the next five weeks. The first vote is free and additional votes are $1 to $2, with proceeds benefiting Body Positive. The eventual winner nabs a prize package of $1,000 worth of booty from sponsors like BS West and Trader Joe's. Call 602-240-6969.-- Benjamin Leatherman

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Ashlea Deahl
Benjamin Leatherman is a staff writer at Phoenix New Times. He covers local nightlife, music, culture, geekery, and fringe pursuits.