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The life of a domesticated animal may seem like one of total bliss, but that ain't always the case. While it's true that most pets are fed, groomed, and tended to by their owners (the responsible one, at least), they're often subject to the various whims and emotional mood-swings of their care-givers.
Halloween is the worst time of year for most of these pets who suffer the indignity of wearing a weird, awkward, or uncomfortable costume, carefully crafted on Esty.
6. Native American Dachshund
You're only a construction worker, cop, and biker short of having your own four-legged version of the Village People.
5. Hot Dog Costume
The scourge of toy dogs everywhere, this outfit is popular amongst owners, but not necessarily the poor canines that have to wear the damn thing.
4. Guinea Pig Wizard
It's bad enough that these jittery rodents have to live in claustrophobic glass boxes filled with a fragrant potpourri of sawdust and their own filth. Must you add to their torture by dressing them up as Gandalf?
We thank you kindly for reinforcing racial stereotypes.
2. Hollywood Hustler Cat
Pimpin' ain't easy, especially if you're this unfortunate feline dressed in this goofy outfit. If fact, it probably will have a few, uh..."treats" to deposit in its owners shoes after getting done working the street corner.
Giving your pug a pair of jugs is utterly wrong on so many levels.
Keep Phoenix New Times Free... Since we started Phoenix New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Phoenix, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Phoenix with no paywalls.
