Everyone's got one in their closet -- hidden back behind that pair of jeans that will never fit again is the ugly holiday sweater or pullover that was either given to you by a doddering relative, picked up at a local thrift store on a lark, or purchased on Etsy.
Typically, these tacky-looking yarn creations are unearthed to donate back to the same thrift store (thus completing the cycle) or to wear at one of those ugly sweater parties (some of which are taking place during the next week at 1130 The Restaurant, The Rogue Bar in Scottsdale, and Cadillac Ranch in Tempe).
Adorned with prancing woodland creatures or other icons of the season (Christmas trees, snowflakes, Santa Claus), these holiday horrors are in abundance on D.I.Y. site Etsy as artists and crafters ironically attempt to outdo each other by creating the most unsightly or gaudy sweaters and pullovers ever.
Here's a look at a few of the most awkward, tacky, and downright awful sweaters we came across.
6. Beam Me Up Santa
Shields up, set phasers on awful.
4. Walton Family Christmas
Nothing says "Merry Christmas" like having Santa Claus perched on your boob.
For the times when you'd like to masquerade as someone's front door during Christmas
This is what the inside of Kris Kringle's trash can looks like.
Ugly sweater parties will take place on Tuesday, December 20, from 4-6 p.m. at 1130 The Restaurant (455 North Third Street, 602-368-3046), and from 8 p.m.-2 a.m. at The Rogue Bar (423 North Scottsdale Road, Scottsdale, 480-947-3580). Cadillac Ranch (2000 East Rio Salado Parkway, Tempe, 480-894-1111) will also host the "Bad Santa & Ugly Sweater Party" on Friday, December 23.
Keep Phoenix New Times Free... Since we started Phoenix New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Phoenix, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Phoenix with no paywalls.