You've been really, really bad this year, and you should be spanked hard and ball-gagged. But since we don't have a dick big enough for the collective you, we'll have to suffice with torturing your psyche. Meet us at Space 55 Theatre for 7 Minutes Under the Mistletoe, in which a grip of 10 acts each has seven minutes to mutilate your Christmas spirit. Ernesto Moncada promises New Times that his "Nasty Santa" will include "partial nudity" (read: mostly, kids), while Dangerville mentions "bodily fluids." We're also anticipating skanky offerings from Tom Tuerff, Ryan Avery, and Shelly Trujillo. Sponsored by the funny folks at Bert Easleys Fun Shop.
Fri., Dec. 12, 9 p.m., 2008