Film and TV

We Tested the Here Comes Honey Boo Boo "Watch 'n' Sniff" Cards; Here's What We Smelled

Ready or not, Here Comes Honey Boo Boo once again will invade the pop cultural consciousness tonight when the second season of the infamous reality program debuts on TLC. And if you're one of the millions of viewers who plucked one of those "Watch 'n' Sniff" cards from the pages of People or Us Weekly, which are part of the summertime show's Smell-O-Vision-like stunt, it's going to be an experience for all your senses.

As we previously reported, viewers will use the scratch 'n' sniff gags in order to smell things depicted on the season's first two episodes. Like us, many Honey Boo Boo fans are probably wondering what particular scents -- either good or bad -- await them tonight. We decided to find out for ourselves, scratching and sniffing so that you didn't have to, although you probably will anyway.

See also: Here Comes Honey Boo Boo "Watch 'n' Sniff" Cards: Here's Five Guesses at What You'll Smell Here Comes Honey Boo Boo's Mama June Has Her Own Web Cooking Series Guilty TV Pleasures: Amy Silverman's Defense of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo

We didn't face this challenge alone when taking one for the team, however, and enlisted the help of another nose to assist us in our sniff test. As with our previous blog on the "Watch 'n' Sniff" cards, these are ultimately our best guesses. And now, on to the results.

Smell #1 And the first one's a doozy, containing a heavy duty and overly flowery cosmetic fragrance. Its aroma is more blunt than subtle, leading us to believe it's something that one would lacquer on to cover up some serious stank.

Our Conclusion: Cheap perfume

Smell #2 Another participant in our sniff test described this particular smell as being "sort of earthy and sweaty," like the funk coming off some blue-collar fellow who's been working outside. Conversely, we thought it had the pungent rank of trash or something industrial and oily, like maybe from items discarded into the Thompson family's favorite place to shop (a.k.a. a landfill).

Our Conclusion: Either Sugar Bear after work or something garbage from "The Department Store"

Smell #3 Oofta! The first real stinker of the bunch, which we should've guessed considering it's surrounded by images of Honey Boo Boo either holding a rotting fish or her nose. It's got a pungent acridness mixed with a savory scent of oily char. Given the Southern clan's, ahem, colorful cooking practices, we're guessing it's a bit of befouled foodstuff.

Our Conclusion: Sketti or something burnt on the stove.

Smell #4 This one is particularly interesting. Not bad, per se, but not something you'd want to inhale all the time (not without risking diabetes, that is). Its aroma seems almost sickly sweet and overly syrupy, which leads us to believe it's probably the most notoriously sugary thing on the show.

Our Conclusion: Go Go Juice

Space #5 Probably the absolute worst on the entire card, as evidenced by another participant in our little experiment to remark, "I don't know what it is, but it frightens me." Its dank, noxious, and distinctive odor resembles something that could be produced only by a human body.

Our Guess:  photo honey_boo_boo_mama_june_farts_zps0f4d4038.gif

Space #6 Like the fourth scent, the final space on the card offers something a bit sweet smelling and candy-like. Since we've already hit Go Go Juice, we're assuming it's one of the myriad other sugary substances that Alana loves to eat in great abundance

Our Conclusion: Candy of some sort, either chocolate cake or pageant crack.

Here Comes Honey Boo Boo's second season premieres tonight on TLC.

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Benjamin Leatherman is a staff writer at Phoenix New Times. He covers local nightlife, music, culture, geekery, and fringe pursuits.