Because what lies beneath can only get uglier, creepier, and more likely to suck on your toes when you fall off the side of the boat, scientists are releasing information about the Phallostethus Cuulong, found recently in Vietnam.
According to National Geographic and Lynne Parenti, curator of fishes at the National Museum of Natural History in Washington, D.C., the Cuulong is now part of the Phallostethidae family (Phallostethus meaning "penis chest" in Greek).
The male and female Phallostethus Cuulong are the horniest of fish (probably second to the ghost shark recently found with a sex organ on its head) and mate almost instantly after birth.
Parenti describes a number of the fish in a tank that when mating all "looked like little pair(s) of scissors, darting around the tank together."
While mating, the male grabs the female and impregnates her through an urogential opening -- located on her head.
The fish, commonly found in the Mekong Basin, an industrial part of Vietnam, is about 2.5 centimeters long. Scientists describe the fish's odd evolution as a mystery; Parenti says the evolution makes sense, as head-to-head mating is much more "efficient."
Here's to the future, friends. Prep the bunkers (and clear the ponds).
Keep Phoenix New Times Free... Since we started Phoenix New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Phoenix, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Phoenix with no paywalls.