Best Political Egomania
Ruben Gallego
Ruben Gallego has been a U.S. Senator for less than a year and already he’s flipping pork burgers and eating boiled eggs on a stick while sashaying through Iowa and fanning the flames of a possible, um, presidential run in 2028. Give us a frickin’ break. Bad enough that he sold his soul to Old Scratch during the 2024 campaign by downplaying a federal investigation of the Phoenix Police Department in order to score the endorsement of a powerful cop union, the Phoenix Law Enforcement Association. And don’t get us started on Gallego’s vote in favor of the ass-backwards Laken Riley Act, passed to slake the fears (and bigotry) of the anti-immigrant crowd. “I know how to help Democrats win in really hard states,” Gallego recently told Iowans. Indeed, it’s called dumb luck. Which is what Gallego was handed when Republicans nominated right-wing nutjob Kari Lake to be their standard-bearer in the 2024 Senate contest. Even so, it was hardly a blowout, with Gallego besting Lake by less than 3 percentage points. President? Of the United States of America? Puh-lease. Especially not with a comb-over worse than Trump’s.