Best Poop Scoop
Rachel Mitchell
Maricopa County Attorney Rachel Mitchell really doesn’t like it when people give her shit. So when someone used a prank service to send her a plastic baggie full of alleged animal dung for Valentine’s Day this year, the notoriously humorless Mitchell was not amused and decided to waste taxpayer bucks on a police investigation. The resulting Phoenix police report reads, “Rachel stated that she and her husband went to dinner last night, and when they got home, her husband told her there was a package at the door. After bringing it inside, she opened it and found the bag.” The “husband” in question is apparently Mitchell’s alleged paramour, Paul Stout, who once called the cops on a New Times reporter for having the temerity to phone him asking for a comment on an unrelated story. (Note: We don’t know if they’re actually hitched, but stranger things have happened.) Mitchell told the po-po she desired prosecution of the anonymous poop-sender, though for what is anyone’s guess. C’mon, Rachel. If you’re an elected official, you have to take a little crap now and then, especially when you’re so darn good at dishing it out.