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Since there's no longer a reliable radio signal for picking up old country (unless you cover your body in tinfoil and point it in the direction of Austin), we recommend you try KUET-AM, the nostalgia station that broadcasts "timeless classics" out of Black Canyon City. KUET's broadcast day includes all the fundamentals of country, from back when country was cool -- Johnny Cash, Johnny Horton, Glen Campbell, B.J. Thomas, Marty Robbins and Patsy Cline. It's worth slogging through the Platters, Percy Faith and Barry Manilow just to hear the occasional Roger Miller or Bobby Bare hit.
When this old-pop-is-really-new-country controversy gets out, it'll turn country-music radio on its ear. In the meantime, you can trace where new country got its roots dyed with Olivia Newton-John, Barbara Mandrell, Kenny Rogers, Eddie Rabbitt and John Denver. Until Arizona gets a radio format that meets David Allan Coe's checklist for what makes a great country song, KUET is the best bet for hearing at least one song per hour about drinking, trucks, trains, prison or mama.
Knot Radio was started by Chris Richardson as an adjunct to his Knot Known Records label. In one stroke, he has given Tempe the credible college rock station it's been lacking for ages; it provides an outlet for local rock groups who've all been shunted off the commercial airwaves and gives them global exposure. Specialty shows range from Chris Horak's Punk, Ska, Oi, Surf, and Hardcore Show to the Blimey! It's BritPop! Show by some cat named Eddie to DJ John's Heathen World, which gives us a history of indie music of the past, present and future. Factor in other eclectic shows that feature jazz, exotica and bootlegs that somehow fall outside the RIAA's regulation, and you have alternatives that no other alternative radio station can provide because it has to play Third Eye Blind for the kajillionth time.
Knot Radio averages about 1,500 listeners a day. Lord knows how many of them are local, but one thing's for certain: They're getting freeform radio at its finest with a click of the mouse.
So what's there to miss about Top 40 anyway? Hearing new music? You hear chart heat-seekers regularly; even songs in rapid repeat rotation, like Nelly's "Hot in Here," get a face-lift every go-round, especially when turntable wizards like DJ Shy are live in the mix for the "Powerworkout" from noon to 2 p.m. You want countdowns? JX3 rattles off the "Power 7 at 7." You miss crazed on-air personalities with funny nicknames? You've got MG, Mad Dog, Danielle and Gringo Suave manning the Morning Madhouse in the a.m., naughty Da Nutz carrying on in afternoon drive time, and Melissa the Midnite Mamacita playing slow jams into the dawn. And how about a station that has guest host Nuff Ced (NBA Superstar Cedric Ceballos) holding court whenever the mood strikes him? Long-distance dedications? Call 602-260-6923, and they are "Down 4 U."
tie: Troon North Golf Club
10320 East Dynamite, Scottsdale
Tournament Players Club of Scottsdale
17020 North Hayden, Scottsdale
BEST CITY HIKING TRAIL
BEST CITY PARK
Encanto Park and Recreation Area
2605 North 15th Avenue
BEST KIDS' FREE FUN SPOT
Tempe Town Lake
BEST KIDS' FUN-FOR-A-PRICE SPOT
9445 North Metro Parkway East
BEST PLACE TO SPEND THE DAY WITH YOUR DOG
Any dog park
If you tire of killing, if that's possible, GameWorks offers all sorts of other entertaining cyber realms. And yes, there are numerous nonviolent games for children if you're some sort of daisy-pickin' pacifist.
After a hard day of killing, you can retire to GameWorks' full bar and a menu of mostly excellent food. The upstairs restaurant and pub makes a nice place to hide from children asking for more money.
To stem the high cost of killing, GameWorks offers daily specials as well as reduced pricing for bulk-killing. Now, if they could only pipe in the smell of napalm in the morning.
You can practically hear the whiff of your plaid corduroy trousers just thinking about it.
But now you can relive those easy times at Terry's Performance Raceways, where slot-car racing is way more than a nostalgia trip. It's pretty much a lifestyle. Terry's features (for now) two modes for mini-scale enthusiasts, beginning with the so-called "H.O." racers, those Hot Wheels-style cars that are authentic enough to induce a flashback in almost anyone. And it only costs $6 an hour: $3 for track time, $2 for a car, and $1 for a controller.
Then there's the drag-racing track, where speed is the only thing that matters. Even with cars that are 1/24th scale, Terry himself claims, cars have been clocked on the 55-foot-long track going as fast as 50 miles per hour, real time. He's currently building a 1/32nd-scale road course, but for now the main event is on Friday and Saturday evenings, when diehard slot jockeys compete in earnest. For a $5 entry fee you can compete if you make the qualifiers; and winners can receive up to 30 percent of the pooled money in store credit, which the proprietor says can sometimes be enough to buy you your own new car -- Terry's, you see, also sells a full line of cars, tracks and slot-car accessories.
"Racing cars to win more cars," Terry says. "That's just gotta be the best thing on Earth."
Indeed, "pockets mark the difference between a gentleman and a bum," and a young man's idle hours are better spent learning a game of skill and coordination that's not a carpal-tunnel-syndrome-inducing video game.
Most billiard palaces won't even allow minors a peek inside, but we've found a pool table that's easily accessible to kids at the Original Hamburger Works, located on the outdoor patio away from secondhand smoke, beer and guys named Fats, Philly and Moe. There's also a Ping-Pong table and horseshoes for those times when you've got to wait for the pool table to free up. The official eatery of the Phoenix Outlaws is a safe bet your kids won't grow up to be juvenile delinquents learning how to line up a bank shot.