Everyone knows the best times of day in elementary school were recess and nap time. As we slough through our 9-to-5(ish) grown-up gigs, we've often bemoaned the fact that neither is available in the corporate world. Well, come to think of it, we're too hopped up on Red Bull to squeeze in a nap, but recess would be nice. Good thing the World Adult Kickball Association is around to help us get out our after-work energy. (Hey, sitting at a computer all day is hard!) The Valley hosts four divisions AZ Cactus, AZ Scorch, AZ Valley and AZ Fire but as the oldest division in the Valley, AZ Fire gets our "best" vote for pioneering the magical combo of a ton of beer, a bunch of bored twentysomethings, and the easiest sport ever. So strap on your sneakers and get ready to play. And if you get picked last, think of it this way that's just more time to chug your brew.
Native New Yorker
Work hard, play hard right? At this Native New Yorker, no one will think twice about your tennis shoes and sweaty clothes in the lounge. It is the perfect spot to replenish all the carbs and calories you just burned with its extensive menu that includes wings, pizza, burgers, hot dogs, nachos and just about anything fried. Quench your hard-earned thirst with a few beers, and top off the meal with something from the dessert menu almost half of the items have "jumbo" in the title. If you really want to be naughty, you can smoke a cigarette inside! Go ahead and indulge. You've earned it.
Move over, Calgon. We'd rather let Willow Stream take us away. At this upscale spa devoted to beauty and pampering, tucked amid the Fairmont Scottsdale Princess' sprawling, Spanish-style courtyards, there are so many ways to relax that it's easy to stretch an hourlong treatment into a whole afternoon of aimless leisure. Check in early, check out the schedule of free fitness classes, and work off some stress in the exercise room. Get a pedicure and then snooze by the rooftop pool, where there's a postcard-worthy view of the McDowell Mountains, or head downstairs to soak under the warm waterfall, letting it softly pummel the tension out of your shoulders. And before your massage appointment, settle down in the inhalation room, a cozy capsule of silence and soothing smells. Forgive us. We could probably chat all day about this gorgeous respite, but we're still coming back to earth from our otherworldly "Body Quench," where they slathered us in avocado oil, wrapped us up in a snug cocoon, and then worked the knots out of our weary limbs. Blissful doesn't even begin to describe it.
The Boulders Resort & Waldorf Astoria Spa
The Turquoise Wrap at the Golden Door Spa at The Boulders in Carefree is 50 minutes of pure bliss. Allow us to explain. It might sound weird, but really, stop a moment. Take a deep breath. Close your eyes. Wait, that won't work. You need to read. Anyhow, the wrap begins with a full body exfoliation with a blue cornmeal paste. A clay masque specifically created for The Boulders with three types of clay, ground turquoise and a blend of aromatic oils is then applied, and your body is wrapped in plastic and layers of blankets. While you are resting, a "smudging" ceremony is performed using a blend of sage, cedar and citrus oils followed by a rain-stick ritual around the table. (Try not to laugh.) After several minutes, you are unwrapped and cleansed with the stimulating "carwash for people," a Vichy shower with multiple shower heads raining down all over your body. The session ends with a full body honey masque, a visit to the steam room and a rose hips body cream which you apply after rinsing off in the shower. It's less than an hour, but you'll feel like two have passed in a good way, we promise. We recommend this treatment in the summer, when rates are so low (with an added discount for Phoenix residents) that you can crawl to your room afterward to continue the relaxation.
Dolce Salon & Spa
Looking for an alternative to the standard movie-and-dinner date night? Dolce Salon & Spa in Chandler offers a couples' massage class one Wednesday night a month. It is a gift that can keep on giving. After registering at the front desk, couples are escorted into a mirrored room filled with mattress pads and pillows. Keeping shorts and loose shirts on, the couples are instructed in five basic massage strokes. First the women work over the men starting with a gentle massage of the temples, down the side of the neck and to the shoulders. Arms, legs and feet are next. The men turn over while the women knead their backs and back of the legs. It isn't as easy as it looks, and we quickly worked up a sweat trying to loosen our partner's muscle knots. After a break and refreshments, the men massage the ladies. We nearly fell asleep as our partner pushed on the pressure points of our feet. The class runs nearly three hours and costs $50 per couple. Each couple leaves with a gift bag filled with a votive candle and holder, chocolates, custom-blended massage oil, and a $25 gift certificate to use for future spa services or products.
Landscaped rocks and cascading waterfalls are the hallmarks of any good resort pool, but The Buttes sets itself apart with the best poolside bar in the area. The aptly named Thirsty Cactus dishes quick bites, burgers, and ice-cold cocktails, so you won't have to leave the comfort of the warm water to grab another margarita. The pool itself is a snaking river with craggy rock formations and native plants lining the shore. The small pocket of air behind the crystal-clear waterfall is a perfect spot to steal a kiss, while the slide is popular with kids on summer break. There are also four secluded hot tubs hidden on the mountainside. You could almost picture yourself in the midst of a tropical island getaway, if it weren't for the bright streetlights and sounds of the nearby I-10 freeway and Tempe Diablo Stadium. Our suggestion? Down a couple of those frosty poolside margs, and the twinkling city lights will look like stars in no time.
Red Mountain Park
City anglers can get their daily fix of aquatic sport during year-round urban fishing at Red Mountain Park. The eight-acre oasis features two fishing docks and waters stocked every two weeks from September through July with hybrid sunfish, largemouth bass, carp, white amur, and tilapia. The 17-foot-deep lake is also stockpiled with rainbow trout during the winter months and channel catfish in the spring and fall. If the fish aren't biting, explore the 1,146-acre park featuring four basketball courts, walking trails, volleyball courts, soccer fields, shade-providing ramadas, or the adjacent Red Mountain Multigenerational Center. A class U Urban Fishing License costs $16, or a one-day pass costs $12.50, and the park is open from dusk to dawn. Go fish.
South Mountain Park and Preserve
The best thing about the view from the top of South Mountain is that you don't have to be a super jock to get there: There's a road that will get you all the way to the summit without one ounce of exertion. (Well, your car will be working it; you won't.) And once there, what a sight: After getting this bird's-eye view, "the Valley" label suddenly makes sense as does some plan for slowing, if not stopping, development. You've never seen sprawl until you've seen it from 2,200 feet. Wait 'til sunset. Bright lights, big city.
If you really want to impress your date, give her the world. Sail over the beautiful mountains, enjoying breathtaking 360-degree panoramic views of untouched desert wilderness. Hot Air Expeditions offers the tour du jour of balloon rides. You and your date snuggle in the basket as a trained pilot hovers at 400 feet, pointing out clusters of desert flowers or a jackrabbit bounding along below. The balloon rises and falls to offer different views, but you barely feel any motion, since you're literally riding on the wind. The red carpet is rolled out for your arrival, leading to champagne and a catered luncheon prepared by legendary chef Vincent Guerithault of Vincent's on Camelback. Now, we're told that ballooning is the safest form of air travel, and ground crews follow the balloon's path from takeoff to landing. But we're not going to tell you that this date won't be without its safety risks. As for the actual date itself, nothing's guaranteed, but all we can say is if a nice dinner counts as foreplay, heaven only knows what awaits you in the bedroom.
Usually, asking your companion to "go bareback" on a date would warrant a slap in the face, but not this time. Ponderosa Stables offers a unique trail ride that includes a hearty meal at the T-Bone Steakhouse. Riders depart from the stables with a guide and take an hourlong ride down the mountain at sunset. It's a quiet journey no cars or city sounds, just the chirping of crickets and coyotes howling under a hazy purple sky brushed with hints of crimson and ginger. Even when there are other riders, it's easy to slow down a moment and steal a kiss under the stars. After the downhill trek, hitch your pony to the post and enjoy a moist top sirloin, or, if the ride's made you exceptionally hungry, the massive 32-ounce porterhouse. Be forewarned: Inexperienced riders may end up with a raw hide by the end of the date. Then again, if you're lucky, maybe your date will let you kiss it and make it better.

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