Hobo wine is shockingly hard to come by these days. In search of the perfect gag gift, we scoured the landscape for the self-proclaimed "American Classic," but were running on fumes 'til we stumbled on a Web site called bumwine.com. In addition to profiles of the tramp-booze clan (T-Bird relations include Night Train, Cisco, Wild Irish Rose, Buckfast Tonic, and Boone's Farm) and little-known facts (Ripple is defunct!), the site directed us to two locations in Phoenix where Thunderbird is shelved. The second is DD Liquors at 50th Street and Van Buren, but V.A. gets the nod based on the following factors: 1) It rests within easy shambling distance of the Van Buren/Hobo Land strip. 2) It's a ramshackle-shack kinda place with an utter lack of charm (see the photo at www.bumwine.com/buy.html). 3) The dude behind the counter at V.A. wrapped up our bottle real chaste-like in a brown paper bag. The DD guy didn't even offer. That's the last $3.56 we spend there. Huff.