Though Hells Angels boss Sonny Barger lives in Cave Creek, our favorite Valley motor-powered cyclist is Glen Galatan, president of the Scooter Club of Metro Phoenix. SCMP events have dramatically fewer bonfires, orgies, and fistfights, but we won't hold that against them — it's cool to see events like last year's "Fiesta" in Gilbert, which featured family-friendly contests, a raffle, and barbecue. You may think it's not quite as cool as Sturgis until you see how dapper a lot of these lads dress while spiriting around town on vintage Vespas. They're no creampuffs, either, planning marathon group rides that'll have anyone not sufficiently badass calling for a roadside pickup in a trailer-towing mini-van. Of course they're green and all that jazz, but the real appeal for us is the snazzy European styling and spirit of camaraderie evident amongst the riders. Hey, even Barger would probably dig it, assuming his other club wouldn't pull his colors for fraternizing with a rival "gang."
Octane Raceway
We bruised our spine the first time we went to F1 — that's how addicting the place is. We overdid it, clearly, and might do so again. Luckily, the raceway wasn't crowded when we showed up at 11:30 on a Sunday morning. Minutes later, we had slipped on a helmet and were strapped into a kart. The burst of adrenaline came seconds later as we slid into the first curve after the straightaway. When the race came to an end 14 screeching laps later, we got right back in line for our second go. When that was done, we plunked down another $30 bucks for two more 14-lap races. Yeah, it's a bit pricey — we paid $50 for the membership and first two races — but worth it. We should probably have done only three races and gulped down a beer at the bar between each one. (Don't fret — the staff checks suspected drunken karters with a breathalyzer.) We'll be back.
AMF Squaw Peak Lanes
Here's how much we love Squaw Peak Lanes: The last time we were there, our cocktail server dumped an entire tray of drinks in our lap. Still, we keep returning because this place is so clean and modern and comfortable that it compares to no other alley in town. The snack bar offers more than just the usual popcorn and nachos routine (try the deluxe hot dog with brown mustard!) and we haven't seen a better beer selection at a bowling alley bar, ever. We feel like part of the Squaw Peak clan, thanks to the Online Bowling League coupons delivered directly to our e-mail box every week, and because the folks up front are so friendly and even remember our shoe size! The computerized scoring and the keen tunes are the best in town.
Jambo! Indoor Amusement Park
For much of the year, it's too hot to walk outside, let alone take the kids to the plastic greens for a round of mini-golf. Jambo! is the answer. It offers an 18-hole miniature golf course surrounded by jungle animals — lions and tigers and hippos. You get the picture. Think pizza, ice cream, rides, games, and birthday parties with a golf club in hand and you'll have full visual on what this gem is all about. As a bonus, Jambo! is open from 11 a.m. to 6 p.m. daily. Throw your next birthday party there or swing in for a random fun-filled Tuesday afternoon. Animal print pants optional!
Tempe residents don't need no stinkin' driving range. They live near one of the straightest fairways in all of Arizona: the railroad tracks that run right through the center of town. It's not exactly legal — nor is it safe — and we're not saying we recommend anyone actually do it, but we imagine it's a great spot to really grip it and rip it. The narrow slot carved through Tempe neighborhoods by the tracks requires your drive to be both straight and long — straight to ensure you don't hit any houses and long to give you ample time to run should you hit any houses.
Fiddlesticks Family Fun Park
Considering how golf-mad Arizona is, you might expect to find more mega-ranges like south Tempe's Fiddlesticks spread across our green-with-wastewater Valley. Not really. This large range is well lit in the hot desert evenings and open late, featuring a two-story tee structure to maximize space and 60 grass tee boxes for purists looking for the realest deal they can get. You can get 100 balls for $8, which isn't a bad price considering how posh the range is, and they've got a slate of pros on hand to help you with your swing if you're interested in purchasing a lesson. Also of interest to busy parents: Since this is a full-service family fun center, it's not hard to find something to occupy the kids while you sweeten your swing. After all, if there's anything better than working out some stress by crushing a bucket at the range, it's doing it guilt-free while the rest of the family rides go-karts or bumper boats.
Kierland Golf Club
When it comes to golf carts, Kierland Golf Club is still the best for one reason: air conditioning. Kierland already had top-of-the-line carts, but about two years ago, the course took what was already state of the art and cooled it off with G2 air conditioners designed by Phoenix based company Coolwell Inc. Some say using a cart is lazy; those people have probably never played golf in Phoenix in the summer. Golfers at Kierland can cruise the course in the Cadillac of carts in total comfort, even when it's 120 degrees outside.
Tournament Players Club of Scottsdale
Chances are, you're not good enough to play at TPC Scottsdale, and you have no business ever setting foot on the course to do anything but watch the pros. Be that as it may, it's fun to pretend, and in the summer you can pretend on the cheap. For $65, you can play where the pros play and enjoy all the bells and whistles of a PGA Tour course. If $65 for a few hours of golf doesn't seem like a bargain, look at it this way: To play the same course in December, it's gonna run you about $300.
Ken McDonald Golf Course
We all love to play the pro courses, and in the Valley there's no shortage of great greens. The problem, however, is that if you want to play them in the winter, you may have to find a second job. That's why summer golfers at Troon North or TPC Scottsdale often find their way to the public courses once the rates go up. Public courses — for the most part — suck. Ken McDonald is one of the few exceptions. The par-72 championship course is scenic, always in great shape, got brand-new carts last year, and, most importantly, you can still play on the cheap. Winter rates at Ken McDonald fluctuate but rarely go above $38, and they can be as low as $28.
We're always on the lookout for a beautiful view on a golf course (yeah, we know . . .), what with our collective game being so darned lousy that we need an excuse to be out there. Well, the par-4 10th at this North Phoenix resort does it for us, and then some. It starts with the tee box, more than 10 stories high on a desert hillside. Looming magnificently before you are both Piestewa Peak and Lookout Mountain. At some point, you've got to hit the little white ball, which is a whole other trip. Just get the darned thing airborne and it will stay up forever, looking vaguely like a pro's shot as it drops about 175 feet or so to the fairway. With your second shot, you have to navigate three bunkers that protect a sloping green. Putting? Well, can't help you much there. It's the getting there that provides the fun.

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