Infidelity. Impossible social skills. Offensive body odor. There are any number of reasons why one may find themselves single on Valentine's Day. But for whatever reason And if you happen to be unattached, this time of year is likely to be quite maddening thanks to the overwhelming amount of heart-shaped reminders of your loneliness decorating everything from your co-workers cubicle to the corner Walgreens.
Bachelors, spinsters, or even those with an "It's Complicated" status needn't lurk about at home this weekend humming "All By Myself" and hiding out from all the crimson-colored pomp and circumstance, as several bars, clubs and other nightlife-oriented establishments around the Metro Phoenix area are throwing anti- Valentine's Day affairs for the lovelorn and heartbroken from Thursday, February 14, until Sunday, February 17. Consider attending one in order to drown your sorrows in drinking or dancing instead of throwing a pity party for one.
Lustre Bar The advertisement for this particular Anti-Valentine's Day event on Thursday, February 14, at the Hotel Palomar's third-floor outdoor bar urge those who might attend to "Forget Love, Celebrate Lust." In order to facilitate said feelings of lust at the Lustre Bar, its mixologists will serve $6 themed cocktails like Sailing Solo and Berry Sexy. Local selector Al Page will also set the mood by spinning some sexy soul sounds starting at 8 p.m. Admission is free.
Hula's If you happen to have a photo or two of your ex (ripped up or otherwise) that need to be set aflame in order to make things right in the world, the proprietors of this CenPho tiki establishment will gladly burn 'em in effigy via the joint's fire pit during Hula's "Anti-Valentines Day Celebration" on Thursday, February 14. Even better, you'll get a $5 Hula Buck voucher for a future purchase. In the meantime, happy hour prices will be available (as well as Heartbreak Baja Fish Tacos for only $10) if you're in the mood to celebrate while you romantic past turns to ash. Starts at 6 p.m. Admission is free.
Rogue Bar Need to bleed off some excess frustration over your latest failed relationship? Consider joining the rivetheads and pleather-clad freakazoids that will stomp around at the Rogue for the "Cupcake! Broken Hearts Ball" on Friday, February 15. Hosted by the goth groupies behind the monthly Cupcake! fetish-themed dance fiestas, the evening will include dark spins of an elektro, industrial, and dubstep flavor from Self.Destrukt and Defense.Mekanizm, as well as their guests Dark Mark from Horn & Halos and Martyr. As per usual, giveaways and raffles will take place and a rogue's gallery of go-go dancers, hula hooper, and cigarette and candy girls will be in the house. The ball starts at 9 p.m. Cover is $6.
Culinary Dropout It probably isn't listed on that cute kitten calendar adorning your wall, but the folks behind this swank Scottsdale establishment have deemed Friday, February 15, "Single Awareness Day" in honor of the jilted or unattached masses. In honor of the holiday, they're also throwing a primo party featuring a number of unique handcrafted adult beverages that poke fun at the possibility you might be single for the rest of your life, including such sorrowful-sounding alcoholic concoctions as Cat Lady, Permanent Bachelor, SAD Cakes, and Effen Cupid. A special menu will also be served. Drink your sorrows away starting at 5 p.m.
Heartbeatz The blood-strewn corpse of an arrow-slain cupid is featured on the Facebook event page for the off-the-radar Heartbeatz rave and desert party, which helps underscore its anti-Valentine's bent. And while attendees won't be able to riddle any cherubs using their archery skills at the event, they can dance the hours away to a slew of EDM genres - including dubstep, drum 'n' bass, and happy hardcore - being blasted by more than a dozen different DJs. The event starts at 9 p.m. Admission is $10. See the event page for more details and clues to its location.
Rips The CenPho dive will become a wayward home for the lovelorn when DJ Manchester holds a special "Cupid Must Die!" edition of his monthly Shadowplay dance party on Saturday, February 16. Both the veteran spinster and his guests -- including DJs FLNGN, Halo, and Neo Noise - will spin Britpop, darkwave, post-punk and other musical mopery. Maybe even a love song or two. Most definitely some Morrissey. PBR will be available for $2 a can. Doors open at 8 p.m. Admission is $3.
TT Roadhouse Wanna know a good way to help mend a broken heart? Go for a bike ride. The fresh air and physical exertion does a body good, releases endorphins, and beats sitting around being depressed. Better yet, instead of rolling solo, try meeting up with some of your pedal-pushing pals at the "St. Valentine's Day Massacre Cruiser Ride" on Sunday, February 17. The biking bar crawl leaves from TT's at noon before making a loop through South Scottsdale and stopping at nearby drinkeries like Papago Brewing and The Well Bar. Participation is free.