Does This Show Make Me Look Fat?

Dear readers, we here at Up on the Sun love you all and think you are all beautiful people. So believe us when we tell you that this heads-up about The Biggest Loser auditions being in the Valley this weekend has nothing to do with our personal feelings toward you. Hell, we could all stand to lose a few lbs. We just thought that for those of you who have taken the whole "sitting-around-watching-American-Idol-while-eating-whipped-cream-out-of-can" thing a little too far lately, you might appreciate the information.

For those who have been lucky enough to steer clear of Loser juggernaut, it's a reality show that put overweight contestants through sometimes humiliating contests and tasks all in the name of helping them get healthy and lose some weight. So, yknow, its heart is in the right place.

The search for the full-figured goes down Saturday from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. at U.S. Airways Center in downtown Phoenix. Bring a picture and be prepared to cry (everyone knows reality show scouts love criers). Who knows, you might even be able to quit your hairdressing job in Mesa like Season 5 winner Ali Vincent. Then again, you could always get sent packing like recent reject, Mesa real estate agent Dane Patterson. Don't worry, though, we're sure you'll do great. And by the way, those pants look really slimming on you. Seriously.