Last week, we asked our readers to offer suggestions for an appropriate
caption for the above photo of former Senate President Russell Pearce throwin' in the towel for
this week's New Times' You Write the Caption contest..
We had nearly 60 responses in the comment section of the post, which you can see by clicking here.
We've narrowed it down to five finalists, but only one can win the grand prize: a pay-your-own-way trip to the historic New Times building, a firm handshake, and a lukewarm glass of Phoenix's municipal tap water.
The finalists are as follows:
A) Maybe368 with "If you guys would get out of my bathroom, I'll be able to finish pushin' out my next plan."
B) Thad Boyd with "What? But...but -- but I brought a Mexican to stand behind me!"
C) Andrew Thom Ass with a (terrific) Brokeback Mountain reference:
Russell: Tell you what, we coulda had a good life together! Fuckin' real good life! Had us a place of our own. But you didn't want it, Joe! So what we got now is Brokeback Mountain! Everything's built on that! That's all we got, boy, fuckin' all. So I hope you know that, even if
you don't never know the rest! You count the damn few times we have been together in nearly twenty years and you measure the short fucking leash you keep me on - and then you ask me about Mexico and tell me you'll kill me for needing somethin' I don't hardly never get. You have no idea how bad it gets! I'm not you... I can't make it on a couple a high-altitude fucks once or twice a year! You are too much for me Joe, you sonofawhoreson bitch! I wish I knew how to quit you.
Joe: [crying] Well, why don't you? Why don't you just let me be? It's because of you Russell, that I'm like this! I'm nothin'... I'm nowhere... Get the fuck off me! I can't stand being like this no more, Russell.
D) Andrew Thom Ass with "Tell me about the rabbits again, George..."
E) Raoul Duke with "Screw you guys...I'm going home."
Cast your vote below.
