Goddard to Host "Anti-Crime Universities" For Senior Citizens; Someone Must've Reminded Him He's Running For Governor

Someone must have given probable gubernatorial candidate and Arizona Attorney General Terry Goddard the first lesson in Politics 101: Old people vote.

On Monday, Goddard announced that his office will be holding a series of "Senior Anti-Crime Universities," designed to inform oldsters how to avoid everything from identity theft to getting abused by hospital staff.

Talk about doing something without actually doing anything.

"Keeping Arizona seniors well-informed provides the best defense against frauds and scams," Goddard says in a press release. "The Anti-Crime University will present a wealth of useful information to identify and prevent all manner of schemes and ripoffs. Protecting seniors has long ranked as a top priority for the Attorney General's Office, and this program moves our efforts up another notch."

The program is a part of the AG's "Senior Sleuths" project, where Goddard seems to be doing little more than giving an army of geriatric gumshoes a sense of purpose.

The AG says some of the things these golden oldies can do to be a "senior sleuth" include collecting "suspicious" junk mail or keeping a log of telemarketing phone calls.

Isn't that stuff all just part of going senile?

"Senior Sleuths offers a great opportunity for active, involved seniors to work with the Attorney General's office to help prevent and detect scams against seniors," Goddard said.

Great opportunity or not, we have five letters for Mr. Goddard that can serve as an alternative to his pointless program: B-I-N-G-O.