Top 10 States Where Men Allegedly Have the Largest Penises: Arizona Makes the Cut

Listen, we're not the ones who come up with this stuff. We're just the messengers.That said, some industry research reportedly shows which states have the men with the largest penises. That industry research is that of an online condom retailer, Condomania, which gathered information on where it was shipping specific...

By Matthew Hendley

January 3, 2014

[
        {
          "name": "Air - MediumRectangle - Inline Content - Mobile Display Size",
          "component": "18478561",
          "insertPoint": "2",
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "2"
        },{
          "name": "Editor Picks",
          "component": "16759093",
          "insertPoint": "4",
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "1"
        },{
          "name": "Inline Links",
          "component": "17980324",
          "insertPoint": "8th",
          "startingPoint": 8,
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "7",
          "maxInsertions": 25
        },{
          "name": "Air - MediumRectangle - Combo - Inline Content",
          "component": "16759092",
          "insertPoint": "8th",
          "startingPoint": 8,
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "7",
          "maxInsertions": 25
        },{
          "name": "Inline Links",
          "component": "17980324",
          "insertPoint": "8th",
          "startingPoint": 12,
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "11",
          "maxInsertions": 24
        },{
          "name": "Air - Leaderboard Tower - Combo - Inline Content",
          "component": "16759094",
          "insertPoint": "8th",
          "startingPoint": 12,
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "11",
          "maxInsertions": 24
        }
      ]

Listen, we're not the ones who come up with this stuff. We're just the messengers.

That said, some industry research reportedly shows which states have the men with the largest penises. That industry research is that of an online condom retailer, Condomania, which gathered information on where it was shipping specific sizes of condoms. So it's not science, but it's enough for the company to release rankings of states with the highest proportions of XL penises. Check out the top 10, which includes Arizona:

10.) South Carolina

Home of the Gamecocks.

9.) New York

The Empire State Building was erected here.

8.) Alabama

The ol' Alabama Sledgehamma.

7.) Arizona

Home of the one-armed Saguaro cactus.

6.) Ohio

Wikipedia says "Ohio" comes from an Iroquois word meaning "great river."

5.) Massachusetts

Shove that in your Masshole.

4.) District of Columbia

It's not a state, but it's well-known as the place with the biggest dicks in the country.

3.) South Dakota

The size of Mount Rushmore?

2.) Rhode Island

Big things come in small packages. Or big packages come in small things . . . something like that.

1.) North Dakota

Huh. Mark that up next to the only other thing people know about North Dakota: It's a state.

KEEP NEW TIMES FREE... Since we started New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Phoenix, and we'd like to keep it that way. Your membership allows us to continue offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food, and culture with no paywalls. You can support us by joining as a member for as little as $1.