Every week we bring you a roundup of visitors to the desert's own Fourth Avenue Jail. To be considered for our Maricopa County mugshots of the week, get arrested, strike a pose, and we'll take care of the rest.
This week, our Fourth Avenue visitors are sending mixed messages, and it's hard to tell what was going on when the camera flashed. We'll give it our best shot to decipher the mugs.
Charges: Marijuana production, marijuana sales
"Oh my God. Girl, those shoes with that dress?"
Charges: Failure to appear, obstructing a public thoroughfare
For a second, we were expecting the "after" picture and a Rogaine advertisement, but this guy's just disappointed in himself. Still a great candidate for Bosley Medical Hair Restoration, though.
Charge: Probation violation
"Black Cholo," huh? By the way, the Dodgers suck.
Charges: Burglary, theft, failure to appear
We'll tell you this woman's name is Donna, which means she probably drives a bitchin' Camaro. Also, people have won small lottery prizes and looked way less excited than Donna is to be in jail.
Charges: Possession of a weapon by a prohibited person, dangerous-drug possession, possession of drug paraphernalia
"Wow, that's actually really cool," zero people said.
Charge: Aggravated DUI
"Try me." Is that like, "Try to mess with me," or more like, "Hey baby, come suck on this mustache tattoo I have"? Either way, "No, thank you" is the correct response.
At the tattoo parlor: "OK, I want this design to start on my nose, and go across my eye -- that's probably gonna be pretty badass. You know what? Screw it, when you're done what that, just draw on my face like a 5-year-old with a Sharpie."
Charge: Criminal trespassing
Google Images search: "Man trying to hold in sneeze while giving an apprehensive look." First result.
Charges: Driving with a suspended license, reckless driving, failure to appear
"Society? Yeah, I gave up on that back in the '80s." You can actually tell he got these tattoos knowing he was going to look like a clown, as the tattoo around his collar undoubtedly says, "Fuck what you think."