Get over it, Canada.
The Winnipeg Jets are now the Phoenix Coyotes, and that's not likely to change anytime soon. Furthermore, there is absolutely nothing the Royal Canadian Mounted Police can do to bring your team back -- no matter how many times you get hopped up on crappy, Canadian beer and call 9-1-1.
Be that as it may, a Canadian man was still compelled to get wasted and call the Mounties to beg for the Jets to return to Winnipeg.
An unnamed, 33-year-old resident of Lundar, Manitoba, reportedly called 9-1-1 on several occasions to see if there was anything they could do to get the team to leave Arizona and return to the frozen tundra of Winnipeg.
According to court documents dug up by the Winnipeg Free Press, the man called police, opening the conversation by saying he wants the Jets back and how upset he was that they left...14 years ago.
The operator told the man there was nothing she could do to bring the Jets back to Winnipeg and that he was tying up valuable resources with his ridiculous call. Then she hung up.
He wasn't done, though.
The man called back several times before finally becoming so outraged that he called the operator "a crude name."
Canadians are notorious for their affinity for politeness so the verbal assault didn't go over too well with the operator.
She told the man that she tracked his phone number and police were on their way to pick him up.
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He responded by asking, "if you're coming to get me, can you bring me some smokes?"
Cops say the man was drunk and claimed he hadn't slept in days before making the call.
He was arrested without incident and charged with public mischief, false messages, harassing phone calls, and obstructing justice.
The Jets, meanwhile, remain the Phoenix Coyotes. Sorry hoser...