Sheriff Joe has activated his infamous posse to hunt down a serial cat killer roaming the streets of Tempe, Chandler, and Mesa.
Sounds like a nice change of pace from walking around malls at Christmas-time pretending to be real cops.
The upcoming depolyment reminds us of the time a few years ago when the posse got involved in a prostitution sting and wound up getting in trouble because members actually got themselves a little... Well, that's another story.
According to the Sheriff's Office, the serial cat killer's claimed at least 14 victims. Only two felines have actually died, but 12 others have suffered "long-deep stab wounds" along their backs (the M.O. of, we'll call him The Pussy Piercer).
The sheriff says these aren't just random strays getting attacked, but people's pets! We'd certainly think so, because no serial killer worth a handle like The Pussy Piercer would stick, um, stick to just strays.
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"We need help to find these perpetrators," Arpaio tells 92.3 (KTAR). "At this point in our investigation, we have no leads and no suspects. But someone out there knows who is doing this, and we need that person to contact us with the information."
Well, if that person happens to be brown, don't expect the switchboard to start lighting up. (Incidentally, Joe, maybe you could stop chasing kitty killers and tree-trimmers and serve that butt-load of felony warrants you keep ignoring. Just saying...)
The sheriff has called on the posse to conduct surveillance, and the American Humane Society is offering a $2,500 reward for information. If you know anything about the whereabouts of The Pussy Piercer, please call the sheriff's animal-abuse hotline at (602) 876-1681.