Last week, we asked our readers to offer suggestions for a caption for the above photo we snapped of Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio at last week's Elvis-themed panty party at Tent City for New Times' You Write the Caption contest.
Once again, you didn't disappoint.
We had nearly 50 responses in the comment section of the post, which you can see by clicking here.
We've narrowed it down to five finalists, but only one can win the grand prize: a pay-your-own-way trip to the historic New Times building, a firm handshake, and a lukewarm glass of Phoenix's municipal tap water.
A) RetiredArmy with "Hey Joe, do all these pink panties come with brown skid marks on the ass end, or are they trying to tell us something?"
B) Not surprised with "I wouldn't say I invented tacky, but I definitely brought it to it's present high popularity." - Bette Midler.
C) www.thecontrabandsound.com with "Arpaio- (inner monologue) 'Mmm.. well I'm 79 years old... and after everything I've done in my life it all boils down to this.. 110 degree heat surrounded by the nastiest bitches in Phoenix, watching some fag dressed as Elvis swagger around as dirty, disease-ridden drawers are flung through the air in front of me, and that's my name on that slab of granite there....Yes sir, I have Arrived...'-grinning- ( Music Fades in...)."
D) Former Republican with "As a crowd gathers 'round an angry old man -- a clown on the street with a gun in his hand -- In the ghetto (in the ghett-o).
E) Mikey1969 with "Meanwhile, at the Hall of Justice: The sound of crickets chirping filled the air as everyone on the Arpaio investigation(s) took the day off... As for the inmates, after the 15 minute panty party, they went back to stewing rats to supplement the meager rations handed out by the glorious Arpaio. As for Joe, he was rushed to the hospital when he threw out his rotator cuff (yet again) patting himself on the back. Again..."
Cast your vote below.