Film Reviews

Stern und Drang

Page 4 of 9

Private Parts is Stern's valentine to his wife, Alison--and to himself; it functions almost as a propaganda film, his way of proving to the world that he's more than just a walking dick joke. The man who once wished AIDS upon Mark and Brian, his competitors in L.A., and who once begged for New York rival Don Imus to get cancer and die a horrible death now wants to be liked. He's downright thrilled the film has tested well, that critics have received it warmly during junket interviews.

Meet the new Howard Stern, mensch.
"Well, I am your friend, though," Stern says. "In fact, someone said to me the other day, 'When I met you, I felt like I knew more about you than I do even my own family.' It's true. I am being genuine when I'm on the air, I am telling the truth and letting down my guard for a purpose. I never saw myself as a celebrity, and I'm still not a celebrity in my mind. I look at it like I'm a guy who's just gonna tell you everything that's in my head and stop worrying about image. My image is I'll do that, so if I don't do that, I no longer have a career.

"You do know me. You know my every thought. In some ways, you know me better than my wife," he says, "because I go home and I lie to my wife sometimes. I talk about my masturbation with you on the air, but when I go home and my wife asks me, 'Do you masturbate?' I go, 'No.' I know I'm play-acting in my real life. I know I'm being honest on the radio."

And therein lies the true appeal of the radio program: It's a clubhouse where Stern and his pals bitch about their wives, whine about their sexual problems and reveal the most intimate parts of their lives without hesitation.

His longtime co-host, "newswoman" Robin Quivers, has yet to live down the revelation, included in her own best-selling book Quivers: A Life, that her father molested her with "ham hands." Sound-effects wizard Fred Norris' failing relationship with his wife, Allison Furman, whom he met during a Dial-a-Date segment, has become almost weekly fodder. Listeners know how well producer Gary Dell'Abate and his wife, Mary, are doing as they raise their first son, Jackson. And head writer Jackie Martling suffers endless ribbing about the show-biz aspirations of his wife, Nancy, who sells her albums through Martling's own 1-900 line and Internet page.

The Howard Stern show is, for lack of a better description, an unexpurgated soap opera with Stern as the catalyst, his colleagues as his supporting cast. "You know as much about us as you probably know about your friends," says Martling, who began as a once-a-week contributor to Stern's WNBC show. "And I'm not sure Howard thought that would even happen at the beginning."

"Howard always wanted to have reality on the radio," adds Norris, who met Stern back when Norris was a college student in the late '70s working at a Hartford, Connecticut, radio station where Stern was a bumbling deejay-in-training. "And Howard finds conflict very interesting."

Stern may well goad women to take off their clothes every morning, checking to see if their breasts are real or implanted, but he and his cronies are the ones who are truly exposed. Therein lies the contradiction: You know only what Stern wants you to know. He keeps his most private parts to himself.

"People come up to me all the time and go, 'I'm just like you,'" Stern says. "In fact, when I was talking to directors--this was before Ivan got involved with Betty--I would meet with directors, and a guy would come up to me and go, 'I'm just like you.' These guys were not like me, and I get that all the time. You're selective because you still have to entertain, [but] you still have to have your private life."

Howard Stern remains good friends with David Letterman, the first man to expose Stern to an audience outside New York. When Stern was working at WNBC in the mid-'80s, he regularly showed up on Late Night. He was a wacked-out bar mitzvah boy, Jewfro and all, in Hells Angels garb, and Letterman seemed endlessly amused by Stern's bad-boy rants.

They would often speak on the phone about, among other things, their disdain for NBC and their affection for broadcasting. Letterman had aspired to take the late-night throne from Johnny Carson since he was a kid in Indiana. Stern, by contrast, had been attracted to radio since the days his father, Ben, would drag him from Long Island to New York City, where Ben worked as a radio engineer and later as a sound technician with such show-biz legends as Don Adams (then the voice of Tennessee Tuxedo) and Wally Cox (Underdog). "I used to watch them do these sketches, this cartoon shtick, and I thought this was exciting," Stern recalls.

KEEP PHOENIX NEW TIMES FREE... Since we started Phoenix New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Phoenix, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Robert Wilonsky
Contact: Robert Wilonsky