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9 Tips For Using a Fake ID to Get into a Show

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9. If you're buying a custom fake, assure accuracy above all else. Make sure the shady shmoe who's making your ID doesn't make your name Michael Jones and have the signature say Brian Michael Jones. No dice.

8. Likewise, make the photo look believable. That is, wear what you'd wear to the DMV in the picture. Guys, spare the venue bouncers and don't wear any eyeliner in the photo you have on your fake ID. I'm sure they're not interested in knowing how truly emo you are. Girls, don't wear a tube top when you get your photo taken for your fake ID. Everyone knows you wouldn't show up to the DMV wearing that.

7. Make it clean. For goodness sake, don't let your older brother just glue your picture on top of his picture on the ID he used to use. Uneven textures and glue smudges won't do you any good. If your height and weight don't match up with that of your sibling, you're out of luck as far as borrowing a sibling's ID goes. It's also a good idea to use your real name in case you're asked for a second form of identification. If you're paying between $100 and $150 -- that's the going rate -- then you should guarantee that your ID will turn out better than the one your brother could make for you anyway.

6. Buy from an appropriately disreputable source. Wanna find someone who'll sell you a fake? Ask friends who have good fakes. Or check out local head shops, which is a great place to find someone who produces fakes on the DL. Then, know what you want. Do a little reading about which states actually have flimsy driver's license cards. I used to know an 18-year-old who had a fake New York ID that was an actual plastic card, and all I could say was, "You've got to be kidding me, man." California's got the flimsy kind too, so if you get a fake California driver's license that's as stiff as a credit card, you've been duped.

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Lenni Rosenblum