Arty Girl: AZ Roller Derby Dames Hold Try Outs Thursday

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Before I talk about the Roller Derby Dames, here are two paragraphs about something for the ladies of a more dainty persuasion.

Today, I'm in a fine mood, I am. It's Wednesday, so that means I'm getting into the Phoenix Art Museum tonight by throwing just a couple bucks into their donation box, rather than paying full ticket price. Not to mention, they are showing a documentary at 7 p.m. about the life and art of the incomparable Yayoi Kusama (read about it here).

I can't wait. I've been freaking out over Kusama's permanent installation, Stepping Into You Who Are Getting Obliterated in the Dancing Swarm of Fireflies, for about three years now. I'm obsessed.

Now, to completely change the subject, I'll move on to the main topic of today's blog. This really couldn't be further from a night at the museum: it's the try outs for the Arizona Derby Dames.

I'll be the first to admit that roller derby chicks just aren't my kind of women. That means I'll be making a few jokes at their expense in this blog. So, in an effort to avoid being kicked in the crotch by a burly woman with wheels on her feet (ouch!), I apologize in advance.

Please don't beat me up. Really, I'm poking fun at you because you scare me and make me question my pacifistic femininism.

After all, what better way to assert your equality to a man than by physically dominating other women?

Or, maybe I don't get it because I don't have any tattoos, I stopped wearing fishnets around 1999 and my testosterone levels aren't on overdrive.

But, hey, if you like the idea of bruises and smudged eyeliner, I guess I'm no one to judge. After all, I used to think that stuff was really cool...when I was 16.

Anyway, if you're interested, head to Mesa Skateland tomorrow night (Thursday, November 19th) at 7:30 p.m. The Arizona Derby Dames are looking for ladies who are over 18, have some skating skills, a willingness to learn the game and enjoy taking a beating.

It's all in preparation for the 2010 season that will take place at the Arizona Veterans Memorial Coliseum on the Arizona State Fairgrounds. This year, the action will happen on a banked track...you know, the raised oval track on which traditional roller derby is played? Apparently, this is a new development (previously, they played on a flat track) and it makes the Arizona Derby Dames one of only six all-girl banked track leagues in the world.

Pretty exciting stuff...if you're into that kind of thing, that is.

Show up with a $5 application fee, water, I.D. and comfy work-out clothes. Bring skates, helmets, knee pads, elbow pads and wrist guards OR you can rent/borrow all the equipment from the organizers. Expect an interview by the Arizona Derby Dames managers and feel free to grill them right back with any questions you may have.

Oh, and you might want to punch one of them in the face, too. I mean, they like a little moxie, don't they?

Arizona Derby Dames Try Outs start at 7:30 p.m. on Thursday, November 19th at Mesa Skateland, 7 E. Southern Ave., www.azderbydames.com.

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