Happy New Year, everyone. Here's hoping that you didn't start 2012 off with a great big mistake. It's easy to do: New Year's Eve is an easy night to drink like a fish and drunk dial.
I'm sure many of you got lucky Saturday night, but hopefully your beer goggles weren't too thick.
At any rate, here's eight songs to play while you chug Pedialyte and not-so-subtly try to shoo the coyote ugly out of your bed.
Liz Phair- Fuck and Run
"I woke up alarmed. I didn't know where I was at first." What better way to kick off your new year than reliving Liz Phair's experience? Sometimes you've got to do your business and run as fast as you can.
Mis-Teeq- One Night Stand
Remember when this song was all over the top 40 charts about five years ago? "Now don't you get the wrong impression, it's just a dance. I'm with my girlfriends hanging out." Mmm hmm, a likely story Mis-Teeq.
Fall Out Boy- Thnks fr th Mmrs
This song starts out with an optimistic, "I'm gonna make you bend and break," but things take a nasty turn when the hooking up doesn't go well. "Thanks for the memories, even though they weren't so great. He tastes like you only sweeter." Apparently quoting Closer can make up for a bad lay.
Night Manager- Blackout Sex
Sometimes you're so wasted that you can't understand what people are saying to you...just like the lyrics of this song, but it sounds cheery, so all is well.
The Lonely Island- I Just Had Sex
Boozey holidays like New Year's Eve and St. Patrick's Day are good times to try to get lucky, as long as neither party is blackout drunk and you remember to use protection. If all goes well, you can scream from the rooftops that you just had sex. We can't guarantee that Akon will high five you for your exploits, though.
Ne-Yo- Sex With My Ex
"I ain't what you want but I'm what you need." This song is the epitome of why drunk dialing your ex is never a good idea.
The Bronx- Transsexual Blackout
If you wake up saying, "I confessed I've always been a mess, and then I woke up in your wedding dress," you may want to lay off on trips to the gay bar.
Amy Winehouse- Fuck Me Pumps
"You're more than a fan, lookin' for a man, but you end up with one night stands." That's what happens when you rock Mis-Teeq too often.