If you're like me, then you take your tree-decorating seriously.
When I saw the holiday themes out this year (if you haven't noticed, ornaments come and go in cycles) I was less than thrilled. Snowflakes? zzZZZZ. A lodge-style moose, lanterns and flannel ornaments? Seriously, does this look like the Midwest? Ballet shoes? Eek. So I did what any self-respecting craft geek would do: make my own damn tree. A Twilight tree.
Go ahead, laugh if you will, but it's the biggest movie phenomenon of the year -- except maybe Heath Ledger's Joker. If you're a closet Twilighter like me (crap, I just outed myself), making this little tree will give you hours and hours of chaste vampiric ecstacy. And if you're a Twilight-hater, you can always make one of these little suckers and burn it in effigy.
Instructions (on construction, not immolation) behind the cut...
I used one of the tabletop trees, purchased at Borders bookstore for $12.99. You can also get them in silver, green, pink or purple shiny tinsel too, in case you want to make a Powerpuff Girls tree or an Oscar the Grouch tree or whatever. If you want something a little more "majestic," Wal-Mart (hiss...I know it's a soul-sucking corporate enterprise, but they've got decently priced trees, k?) has a pre-lit 5-footer for about $50.
Clear "Diamond" Ornaments
If you're missing the reference here, you probably didn't make it past the first book in the Twilight series. Purchased from Target for about $6 a pack, these clear crystals are a nice stand-in for the big honkin' diamond Edward gave Bella for her charm bracelet.
If you've got a full-size tree, you can make your own using red craft apples from Michaels or Joann Fabrics. Michaels also carries small crabapples, but they're kind of orange. I opted for pre-made ones I found in a dusty hanging rack at the European Christmas Market store in Old Town Scottsdale. They're bright red, shiny and only $1 each. Or, you could always use real ones, but by Christmas you'll likely have applesauce. Ick.
Unless you manage to track down pre-made ones on some geeky Internet site (which I'm certain exist), you'll likely have to make your own. I trekked to Goodwill, picked up a bag of pieces for a couple bucks, painted the queens shiny glitter white and the pawns red. Voila, it's just like Breaking Dawn!
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Your tree's looking pretty Twilight-y now, but if you want to show Stephenie Meyer just how much you love her books cuz oh-mi-god-they're-so-great *squeal*, you can't forget...
Wolf, Lion and Lamb
In a show of utter geekdom and cheesy vampire romance fanaticism, I went to Toys R' Us, bought three Schleich figures -- lion, lamb and wolf -- and hung them on the tree with pretty red satin ribbon. While you're there, check out the hot elf chicks and medieval warriors on horseback.
Wolf, Lion and Lamb
Tie the top of the tree with red ribbon and you're done! A geeky Twilighter tree for the ages (of 12-17).
-- Wynter Holden