Music News

Colonel Tom's Folly

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Reason Elvis has to whup a man's ass: Some guy's got the nerve to tell an angry Elvis to let Nancy Sinatra go. "Make me," he sneers back, unleashing three air punches that nonetheless knock the creep clear across the room on a flat dolly. You better hope that's not one of Frank's friends, punk!

Pedophile alert! Elvis sings "Your Time Hasn't Come Yet, Baby" to a bunch of grade-school kids living with their father in a car!

The Trouble With Girls (1969)
Most implausible song setting: Imagine an Elvis movie where Buffy from Family Affair, Cindy from The Brady Bunch, mothers, college folk trios, marching bands and everyone with access to a pitch pipe gets to sing songs except Elvis. He doesn't break into a tune until midway through, and that's only because the lead singer with the Bible group contracted laryngitis!

Reason Elvis has to whup a man's ass: Maybe because Elvis wears an impeccable white suit throughout (or because this was originally a vehicle for Glenn Ford), no fists fly whatsoever. Elvis does, however, get to slap Sheree North, who's way too drunk to feel it. Although he succeeds in reviving her, his film career isn't so lucky. This movie was released to theaters as a second feature with The Green Slime. Now he could fight!

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Serene Dominic
Contact: Serene Dominic