Five Songs To Prepare You For Black Friday

It's that time of year again--once you wake up from your tryptophan-induced food coma on Thanksgiving evening, it's time to grab a blanket and a lawn chair to camp out for Black Friday. Some wackos are already waiting in much for enjoying Turkey Day.

If killer deals on electronics are what you're thankful for this year, listen to these five songs while you're shivering in line and celebrating a true American tradition: relentless, uncompromising consumerism.

Rebecca Black, "Friday"

Of the many songs about Fridays, this best sums up the consumer holiday. For one, it's annoying as hell, yet it seems to be everywhere. Like this song, folks may swear that they'll avoid Black Friday deals this year, but just as they won't admit to their friends that they like this song, they'll spend their Thanksgiving lurking outside of Best Buy. You may be able to use this song to drive other folks crazy in line so you can jump up a spot or two, but I can't guarantee your safety.

The Smiths, "Panic"

YouTube videos of shopping center stampedes should be enough of a deterrent to stay home, but no. Most of these folks would be willing to hang the DJ (or the clerk, whatever) just to get some good deals.

It also begs the question of whether Morrissey is a Best Buy or a Fry's Electronics kind of guy.

Madonna, "Material Girl"

"We are living in a material world and I am a material girl." Because materialism is more important than Thanksgiving, duh.

Wu-Tang Clan, "C.R.E.A.M."

"Cash Rules Everything Around Me." You still have a couple of days to request an increase in your credit limit.

Green Day, "Waiting"

When the person in front of you grabs the last flat screen TV, you may find yourself desperately looking for another deal to make your long wait worth it as you relate to Billie Joe Armstrong being "destined for anything at all." Be careful though, you don't want to end up in rehab. Bonus for all of those folks who think Black Friday is silly: Refused: Worms of the Senses/Faculties of the Skull

"I've got a bone to pick with capitalism and a few to break." Black Friday brings out the worst in people. Is it really worth it to sleep outside of Walmart for days just to save a few bucks?

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Melissa Fossum
Contact: Melissa Fossum