Music News

God Help Us: It's the #SelfieOlympics

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Location At a funeral, because that's where selfies happen most.

The Opening Ceremony Bieber, Beyonce and Rihanna - three of the world's most famous selfie shooters - perform a collaborative rendition of Michael Jackson's "Man in the Mirror," all while taking pictures of themselves.

These photos are projected into a giant selfie mosaic above the stage that forms a giant Facebook thumbs up. Audience members share real time selfies of themselves reacting to this selfie performance.

Nations Representing After funerals, music festivals are responsible for more selfies per capita than anywhere else. Thus, on hand will be representatives from the nation-states of Coachella, Hard, Ultra, Holy Ship, Lollapalooza, Electric Daisy Carnival, Bonnaroo, Glastonbury, and Burning Man. They'll pass among themselves a torch with a fire-resistant GoPro cam inside.

Event Contestants will be judged on their selfie abilities: getting your whole head in there, not getting too much of your arm in there, incorporating a just-slightly inappropriate amount of cleavage, and proper hash tagging.

Bonus points for: - Using a reflective surface, particularly someone else's sunglasses, because that's trippy. - With seeming indifference, incorporating a celebrity into the background. Yes, David Guetta is clearly identifiable sitting near you in the VIP section, but you're around famous people so much that you don't even realize.

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Katie Bain
Contact: Katie Bain