Hardcore Midget Wrestling, Blood Into Wine, Skateboard Battles, and More

Puppet is definitely one fierce bastard. Ripping with muscled and covered with tattoos, the natural-born brawler also sports a few piercings and a Mohawk.

Sounds like someone you wouldn't want to piss off, no? So would it matter if we told you that Puppet is actually a midget? It really shouldn't, considering that old adage about "the size of the dog in a fight" and whatnot. And especially considering the fact that this self-described "psycho dwarf" could beat the ever-loving crap outta men twice his size and ask for more, as evidenced by the Half Pint Brawlers' DVD.

Puppet will be in town this weekend with fellow pint-sized pugilists Madd Mexx (a.k.a "The Immigration Sensation") and Little Kato as Sandbar Peoria is hosting the Half Pint Brawlers for a night of "hardcore midget wrestling" in honor of WrestleMania mania happening in the Valley this weekend.

It's not the only sort of adversarial activities one can witness during the next 72 hours, as there are also arm wrestling championships, skateboard competitions, and other battles taking place in and around P-Town.

Hit the jump below for the full rundown.

FANGS! at Trunk Space (Saturday):
Stephanie Carrico and JRC's funky art/coffee/music joint isn't what you'd call a hotbed for electro-rock here in the Valley, but the past couple weeks its hosted a number of local/touring electrified acts. Portland's Nice Nice just made a stop off at the Grand Avenue venue (and was backed by Jared Alan and Terminal 11). This weekend Scottish electro/New Wave band FANGS! will hit the Trunk's tiny stage. In a neat bit of apropos booking, Phoenix's resident Twilight tribute band The Cullens will provide support (fangs=vampires, get it?), as will Russian Arms & Optics, and Jaime J. 7 p.m., $6. (1506 Grand Ave., 602-256-6006)

WorldFEST 2010 at Heritage & Science Park (Friday-Sunday):
Hey, kids! Your idea of family fun is probably scarfing rubbery pizza, spiraling from a soda sugar rush, and accidentally slugging Chuck E. Cheese in the crotch. But for moms and dads (and the rest of us) looking for more substance and less schlock, the Phoenix Sister Cities WorldFEST 2010 serves up a family celebration everyone can enjoy. Returning for its fifth year, this three-day global get-down boasts multicultural food feasts and demonstrations, a day-to-night world beer fest, live music, parades, and prizes. Kids activities include rice writing, castle exploring, camel rides, and a tour of each of the booths of Phoenix's nine sister cities." Noon, free. (115 N. Sixth St.)

Blood Into Wine at MadCap Theaters (Friday-Sunday):
If you missed out on seeing this 99-minute documentary by Ryan Page and Christopher Pomerenke concerning Maynard James Keenan and Eric Glomski's passion for winemaking (which was originally reported by our very own Michele Laudig), there's still a few chances to catch the flick this weekend. MadCap will offer three screenings of the doc tonight through Sunday. 4 p.m., $8. (730 S. Mill Ave., Tempe, 480-634-5192)

SRP Arizona Dragon Boat Festival at Tempe Town Lake (Saturday-Sunday):
"An armada of boats will be taking over Tempe Town Lake this weekend. But have no fear; the Valley is not being invaded by crazy-looking pirates. The cheerfully hyper water paddlers are harmless participants in the seventh annual SRP Arizona Dragon Boat Festival, where aqua-minded athletes compete in the ancient Chinese sport. Teams of 16 people get in huge-ass boats, decorated with ferocious (well, they're actually kinda cute) dragons, and use some serious upper body strength to power the water vehicles. The surrounding crowd can cheer them on and then enjoy the accompanying festival bursting with vendors, food, martial artists, dancers, and live music. Kids are welcome at this family-friendly event, which will also have a children's area." 8 a.m., free. (620 N Mill Ave., Tempe) -- Nicki Escudero

Half Pint Brawlers at Sandbar Peoria (Saturday)
The midget madness will be unleashed starting at 10 p.m. with battles reportedly taking place all over the club (read: on the bar, on the floor, in the bathrooms, etc.). Meanwhile, bartenders will be serving such themed $4 drinks as "Michelle McCoolaide," "Batista Bombers," and "Chris Jeri-cocoa." Ladies get in free, while dudes have to pay $5. (9868 W. Northern Ave., Peoria, 623-877-6444)

Wedge Skate Park Competition at Eldorado Park (Saturday):

Blame our goodie-two-shoes nature from middle school or whatever for never getting the chance to get into ollies and lip tricks before hitting adulthood. That's why we're heading to Eldorado Park & Community Center to check out the eleventh annual Wedge Skate Competition. Since the skatepark at Eldorado is a high-quality facility - it boasts a quarter-pipe, fun box, amoeba bowl, launch box, and a bunch of other things we've never heard of - the skaters should really be able to show off a vast array of "wicked cool" tricks." 10 a.m., free. (2311 N. Miller Rd., Scottsdale) -- Ed Kummerer

Velvet Saturdays at Majerle's (Saturday):
Downtown Phoenix transforms into a hip-hop hotspot every Saturday as superstar selectas lay down chart-busting urban tracks in such joints as PHX Nightclub, Sky Lounge, and Stoudemire's as dance floor divas and the grown 'n' sexy crows shake their moneymakers. Majerle's is getting a piece of the dance-floor action this weekend with the launch of Velvet Saturdays this weekend. The aptly named DJ Klassic will serve up a steady stream of old-school hip-hop and R&B cuts from the '80s through the early Naughties inside the lounge. 10 p.m.; ladies get in free until 11 p.m., and $4 Patrón and mixed drinks available all evening. (24 N. 2nd St., 602-330-8544)

Arm Wrestling Championship at Tempe Marketplace (Saturday):
"We remember third-grade lunch hour as a free-for-all scream fest. It was also a time to prove your strength to your peers during rousing matches of arm wrestling. Remember the callow figures circling, young arms flexing, and heads diving above closed fists? Where are they now? Possibly at the Grand Canyon State Games: Arm Wrestling Championship. Eric Wolfe of AZ Arms, the training center hosting the competition, says technique can beat strength by a practiced 'hook' or 'top roll' move. Whoa. That sounds pretty intense. Maybe the competitors aren't just a bunch of insecure beefcakes trying to purge their adolescent angst onstage after all." Noon, free. (2000 E. Rio Salado Pkwy., Tempe) -- Leslie Barton

Valley Fever's Quarantine Show II at Yucca Tap (Sunday):
Homegrown crooner Dierks Bentley once said that "country music has always been the best shrink that 15 bucks can buy." If that's true, then those visiting the Yucca Tap on Sunday should be have an absolutely clean bill of mental health as the renowned Tempe dive bar is featuring 12 straight hours of local Americana/country/y'allternative bands on its stage. Better yet, they won't have to pay $15 to attend. The staggering slate includes such names as Flathead and Chip Hanna, as well as Chuck Wagon and the Wheels, Al Foul, Hashknife Outfit, Jim Bachman, and more. Noon, free. (29 W. Southern Ave., Tempe, 480-967-4777)

Metal Mania at Copper State Tavern (Sunday):
Since WrestleMania is just about sold out (there's reportedly a few tickets left as of this writing), the only way yo' procrastinating ass is gonna see all the rasslin' action is at a few viewing parties at local bars and clubs. Pirate Productions is pairing such an event with a trio of hard-charging metal bands -- including Skeletal Secrets and Malifactor - who will perform after the pay-per-view has concluded. 4 p.m., $5-$8. (5060 W. Bethany Home Rd., Glendale, 623-931-5729)

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Benjamin Leatherman is a staff writer at Phoenix New Times. He covers local nightlife, music, culture, geekery, and fringe pursuits.